Amnesia
by AllTheSnakes
Summary: It's the second cliché I'd like to explore with Niles and CC– the old amnesia thing. What happens when one person of our favorite couple forgets all about their relationship?
1. A light conversation

CHAPTER 1: A LIGHT CONVERSATION

'Where's Dust Buster?'

CC was in the kitchen, a cup in her hand, ready to demand coffee, most-abusive mode ON, just to pick on the butler and have a little banter. The day was boring – thank God she knew exactly where to seek some fun.

To her chagrin, he was not there. And, of course, Nanny Fine was, doing nothing useful while reading a cheap magazine.

'Ma is coming, miss Babcock', the Nanny informed, without taking her eyes off the reading.

'It means he went to the grocery to buy tons of food'.

'Yep'.

'Oh, for God's sake!'

'What?', now she had the attention of the Jewish woman.

'I just _need_ some coffee, Nanny Fine. People around here work! And God knows sometimes we need someone to take care of our needs'.

Fran gave a deep sigh and her hand made a dismissive gesture in the air. 'You tell _me_ about it. Mr Sheffield is driving me nuts'.

CC seated besides Fran, deep in thought. 'Do you think he will come soon?'

'Sometimes I think he will never', Fran sighed.

'Oh, please, Nanny Fine. How much time even a decrepit man must take to buy groceries?'

'Uhm? Oh, you're talking about Niles. I don't know, Miss Babcock. Why don't you make your own coffee, if you need it so much?'

CC looked at the coffee-maker, knowing the coffee was just an excuse. She would never say the exact words, but she could make something very close. 'Because sometimes there's no fun in doing it by yourself', she declared, with a smirk.

Fran let out a laugh (what made CC wince and regret the joke for a while). 'Oh, I see'. Fran was serious in a beat, 'You're not expecting _me_ to…'

CC rolled her eyes, smiling, 'Don't worry, Nanny Fine. You're very far from my type'.

'Oh, thank God!', and she was laughing again.

CC noticed she was smiling at that. The Nanny was really funny, she had to admit. Sometimes, in an annoying way, and sometimes, in an almost tender way. CC always favored the witty humor, but she had learned not just how to survive these experiences with the crazy woman, but even doing it and having real fun.

Fran stopped laughing and closed the magazine. 'Oh, now I remember. I must discuss something with Mr Sheffield'.

Both women were up, now. 'I'll go to the office, too. I can come here later to annoy Butler Boy'.

They started walking together. Fran was smiling. CC went curious. 'What's that for, Nanny Fine?'

'I was just thinking…'

'That's already a great thing'.

'Humpf. I was going to say you work very well together'.

'Who? Me and Maxwell?'

'This too, but I meant you and Niles. The way you deal with both of them… Because, well, the guys are very different from each other… With Mr Sheffield, you do it working; with Niles, while… well… having fun'.

They arrived at the office. Fran went to her usual place – the corner of Mr Sheffield desk – and CC sit on the green leather sofa, a bit shocked by what Fran had said.

That woman was an annoying crazy slut, but she had powerful insights about people; her commentary, made as if it was just some passing thought, was one of the most shocking, surprising and – well, whatever – thing CC had heard about herself.

She started to analyze the situation, and she soon agreed: Maxwell was all about work. Even when she thought of him as her husband, the things she could imagine about them almost always involved the smashing success of their partnership: she, clad in beautiful long dresses, smiling at a bakers party, and he by her side, being charming and handsome, as always. They could be so perfect for this work group thing! They were great partners, with the right amount of charm and persuasion – coming from him – and the right amount of power and intimidation – coming from her.

Niles would say _The Beauty and the Beast._

Of course, she had other fantasies with Maxwell. All of them involved them in places like… their room. She could never imagine the oh-so-proper Max getting horny with her in any other place. Maybe a cabin at the mountains, or a room in an expensive hotel on a beach… Well, _Maxwell_ and _horny_ in the same phrase was surprising enough for a day. _Mr-Tuesday's-tie._

Suddenly, CC was thinking about Niles. Was he to her… _fun_?

Oh, yes, he was. Not in the beginning, of course – when he started insulting her, she thought it was just strange. It was like he was toying with her. It was disconcerting, but light; almost a greeting. Sarah noticed, and she used to say he was 'at it again', and smile, when he started throwing the comments.

Then, Sarah died. Maxwell was alone and depressed. The children were lost, and running to Niles for help. CC thought the business would be lost if she didn't do anything. So, she started to make Maxwell get back to life through work; it was ok – not exactly perfect, but ok.

Why not try something else? Something to really bring the millionaire back? That's why she begun the flirting. Maxwell was perfect husband material for her; she loved Sarah and would never have another person replacing her and risking her memory. The only available option was herself.

The children had some kind of routine going on, thanks to Niles, and the butler was back to the office, to observe her and Maxwell. And he didn't like what he saw.

He showed that by starting the mean pranks and the 'bitch' jokes.

It was getting really bad, by the time Nanny Fine arrived. At that point, CC could see Maxwell was not even listening to her, and Niles was overreacting by her behavior. She found that behavior very, very strange, but never faced the subject.

Now, after three years of Jewish mode at the mansion, things are very different: the children are happy, Maxwell is all eyes and ears to the woman, and she, CC, is feeling free to try something new, once her partner was in no need of her attention anymore – and she could not see him as an interesting aim anymore, once he seemed to enjoy a woman with the profile of the likes of Fran Fine.

So, she had decided to take a turn in her relationship with the butler. What if she answered back to the zingers? What if she showed him that she liked the insults – but the way they were in the beginning, not the hurtful thing they had at the last years?

She began answering back; she began her little pranks and zingers.

When she noticed, he was smiling at her; he seemed to love the _Dust Mop_ and the _Butler Boy_ thing.

So, Nanny Fine was right: Niles was for fun. Not fun as when you _laugh at_ someone; fun as when you _laugh with_ someone. They had something very good going on, something mingled with teasing – something she craved for.

CC felt her eyes water. She felt at home. She had a very caring man as her business partner; a funny woman that would be happy to be her friend, if one day she decided to accept it; three kids always involved in interesting situations, putting her in contact with some things she never had as a teenager; and a very witty man that was maybe the most amazing part of her day, always ready to make her laugh or put her in her place, when it was needed.

And she knew that sometimes it was much needed.

CC got up and excused herself. She went straight in the powder room, in order to take a breath and recollect herself. Thinking about her feelings were never easy to her.


	2. Disturbing Fantasies

CHAPTER 2: DISTURBING FANTASIES

The socialite looked at her reflection in the mirror. She was getting mature and not loosing her good looks, yet – what was great.

She was proud of how much she had achieved professionally, in these years, too. She didn't need her family's money, she was independent and free.

And now she even realized how wonderful were the people she had chosen to be around.

Life was good.

But then, what was the matter with her? CC couldn't understand why was it that she would fantasize about Maxwell and get some satisfaction, and then would be wildly possessed by pleasure when things involved Niles… It was not logical at all!

She remembers exactly how it began! That night when she discovered the deep sensations the butler – the same one who she should see as her worst enemy – could arouse on her.

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She was in the guest room of the mansion, some months ago, with tons of contracts to read, and feeling tired and with no enthusiasm. She had dined with the Sheffields and some Fines, what was always disturbing to her, because it was very clear how the Sheffields were easily charmed by the Fines, while she and Niles exchanged amused glances. It was like the two of them were a bit different from the big group.

Reassuring, in a way, but really, really disturbing.

That night, she went to bed alone. Chester was sleeping with Nanny Fine, as CC preferred, when they were there in the mansion. The dog loved the nanny, and CC loved the dog, but loved more the idea of working till late hours in peace. And she could never be at easy to solve some tensions by herself, with another living being next to her.

That night was especially difficult for work-related readings, so she decided to alleviate herself with a dose of sexual fantasy. Work was not easy on her that a night for a very common reason: her business partner said something stupid and she couldn't stop sharing a smirk with the butler over it.

Again: reassuring, but disturbing.

Sexual fantasies about Maxwell usually made her forgive him for being obtuse. She could imagine herself being bossy around him without any fear of being rejected, and it helped a lot on calming her nerves.

She began with her favorite plot idea: Maxwell and her, alone in some place, feeling boring and all of a sudden, taken by the physical presence of the other, and having sex.

She let her imagination fly to choose the details, and soon they were married and spending her honeymoon in a beach… no, not stylish enough… in a cabin on the mountains… yeah, in front of the fireplace… yeah, they were both nude…

It seemed to be perfect, but it was not hot. She needed something more… unusual…

_Let's try a place with some danger. _

They were married, and… they were in the office, of course!

It was an uneventful day, just working, bla, bla, bla.

But then they lock eyes and she takes the initiative – as she loves to do, in her fantasies – getting up from the sofa and going to the desk. She takes him by the tie and makes him stand up to kiss her.

_(This thing about getting a man by the tie turns her on incredibly. When did she…?)_

Well, now it was better: kissing hotly in the office. Soon there would be hands roaming…

But it's still not hot enough… Something should happen. Something like…

They could be surprised by someone!

Who would that be?

Nanny Fine? Nooo. No way she would let the nanny participate on this.

Sylvia Fine? God preserve us!

One of the kids? Oh, never. There's no way she is getting any from Max if it happens. Even in a fantasy.

Niles? Uhm. The thought was not exactly new, but she never quite accepted it before… That could be interesting.

So, they were kissing and the door opened.

They parted… No, she would never let go, and Maxwell was too involved to notice they were not alone. So, they kept kissing and she heard the door opening and knew it would be Niles, and she was ready to pretend she didn't give a damn.

Some seconds of silence, and when she thought Niles had gone away without interfering (she would still be repressing part of her fantasy world), a voice sounded very close to her right ear.

'Have you thought of opening yourself to another kind of pleasure?'

She was too shocked to answer. It was her mind talking, and its words made her gasp and straighten her back suddenly, stopping her kiss with Maxwell.

Suddenly she felt an upper body touching her back. A strong and large chest, just the way she liked it, not pressed yet, but coming slowly closer – again, just like she wished a man would do for her.

Soft lips moved right behind her ear, murmuring. 'You just have to say yes. You know I've been waiting for this. Let's show him what really makes you crazy'.

_Him_? Oh, yes, Maxwell. Well, in fact, she could not care less about him, right now. Strange that the Niles of her fantasy would mind what Maxwell saw or not…

_(Who was she kidding? Many times she had glimpses of Niles looking at her with a strange hurt expression, when she felt giddy because she had made some move towards Maxwell and the producer manifested even the slightest thankful nod in response…) _

She had had, in reality, those lips on hers twice, so she could guess how they would feel when they finally touched her skin… And she wondered if the bulge she had noticed in the front of his pants was some indication…

'You have the power over me. Say it'.

'Yes', she said, because she really wanted him right now.

Oh, now things were heated.

Suddenly, the sensations coming from behind her were too intense to concentrate on anything else: the strokes on her sides, the light kisses on the back of her neck and the length that pressed against her ass were amazing, and she opened her mouth to moan in pleasure.

What was Maxwell's mouth and hands compared to this?

Niles' hands were under her blouse, now, and the feeling of that experienced hands (how amazing could them be in reality?) was so awesome she definitively started thinking how she could get _Maxwell_ to not interfere.

Well, it was her fantasy – so, Maxwell occupied his chair again massaging himself while watching the blonds go into action. Maybe he could do something later. Now, she had to maintain focus, here.

CC turned to Niles and felt shocked by what she saw: that lust and that passion in his eyes, the ones she could see when they kissed in the living room… the ones she recognized even when mixed with annoyance (almost all times) or with tenderness (yes, this happened some times).

She could never forget those things she could see in his eyes when they were interacting. And now she realized they were great fantasy material.

She felt a shiver down her spine, the almost real warmth of his touch, the strange urge to taste his skin and feel him inside her, exactly the same urge she had that fateful night in the living room... The night when she discovered Niles had the way and the taste she wanted… She could have it now, in her fantasy, even if it involved _feelings_, because she was in control, and he would never know, anyway.

Hum… That was going good…

They closed together, the same way they did that night in the living room, and she relived that sensation of being lost in him, lips touching, mouths opening and tongues fighting, every move bold and without hesitation, as they were guided by something so powerful and delicious and absolutely _right_, they could not stop or be misunderstood for the other.

And it was so right that nothing could stop them now.

Without stopping the kiss, he helped her to take off her blouse and her pants; he placed her on the desk, while she opened his pants and he opened his shirt; finally they were skin to skin.

She found the situation amazing: the broad shoulders were there to be touched by her, and she could see his almost shy smile when they parted for air. She found it amusing how he could be so bold and, at the same time, so careful with her, so afraid of hurting her or… being hurt. Every time he said horrible things and smirked, she would have that same thrilling sensation about their relationship.

The same way, every time they shared an understanding over something, or he complimented her for something, he had that almost shy smile and that averted gaze that made her think…

She felt a knot on her stomach: in fact, it was almost painful, because that expression on his face always took her to a grade of tenderness she was not used to; she could never deny the greatness of the feeling.

It was good she had the fantasy world to live it without risking her dignity.

She cupped his face, again exactly like that night, and they kissed again, this time slowly and lovely.

A bit afraid of the tenderness she was surrendering to, CC made one of her hands go to his member, and soon she was guiding him inside her, to make it slow in the beginning, and really forceful and explosive, at the end.

It was just what she needed that night: something fulfilling, with the right amount of tenderness, the freedom to let the desire run wild, and the acceptance of that mixed feelings that made things taste better.

Just when she could breath a bit normally, minutes after her fantasy had had a happy end, she noticed she never cared where Maxwell was, or whatever he was doing.

ncncncncnc

After that night, she entered a phase of great fantasies and temporary satisfaction, with Niles having each time a bigger role; lately, she had to admit the very same places that were just good with Maxwell were mind-blowing with Niles.

And that, again, was disturbing. Like Niles to her: fun and disturbing. Something she enjoyed a lot, and scared her like hell.

She didn't know how to deal with that, and didn't know if it was safe to even ponder of assessing that.

Suddenly, there was noise and Nanny Fine was pounding at the door.

'Miss Babcock! Open up! There's an emergency with Niles!'


	3. The Robbery

CHAPTER 3: THE ROBBERY

They arrived at the hospital in no time – CC drives as a mad woman, when she wants, and that was exactly the case. Maxwell was pale as a ghost, when she finally parked.

They retold the story while in the car: Niles was at the grocery store when some guys entered and announced the robbery. An old woman started crying and, as the Police was told, Niles tried to calm her down. The crying, the movement and probably the noble air about the British blue-eyed man probably rub one of the guys the wrong way, and Niles got hit in the head with the gun-stock. When they saw the quantity of blood and the loud cries of the hostages, the robbers run away.

'We're here for a Niles', CC demanded at the emergency desk.

'He had a blow on his head. He was hit by a robber', Fran complemented.

The attendant gave them the number of the room, and soon they had found the correct door. Fortunately, a doctor was exiting the room at that precise moment.

'Are you here for Mr Brightmore?', he asked once he noticed the three distressed faces from the people who simply blocked his way wide-eyed and silent.

'Yes!', Maxwell and CC answered. Fran just added, 'I'm with them', a bit shocked by the situation they were and the surname finally said out loud.

'How is he, Doctor'? Maxwell asked.

'He is sleeping, now. He had a mild head trauma, and needs some rest and medication, but will be ok in no time.'

The three smiled at one another – it was great news!

'Of course, you'll have to be very patient, because he has some issues to deal with, right now'.

'Issues?', CC eyed the doctor warily. Why was it that doctors always had some dramatic info they let to be said as an afterthought?

'It's very common for patients with this kind of trauma to have lapses of memory. Some forget about the incident that got them hurt, some have total memory loss, and some have partial…'

'Niles has a memory loss?', Fran made that O mouth, and put her hands on her cheeks.

'What kind of?', CC demanded.

'Partial. It seems he remembers all of his childhood and teenage years. He even remembers coming to the United States to work as a butler to his friend, Maxwell Sheffield. He remembers Sarah, your wife, and that you are beginning a life as a producer, and looking for an assistant. More than this, he could not tell me, even if he tried hard. I supposed I'm correct in assuming that it is everything correct, and that there is a big blank space of more or less a decade?'.

'In fact, if he remembers me looking for an assistant, it is almost fifteen years, Doctor', Maxwell clarified.

'I see. Well, I have told him of the lapse of time, and he was a bit shocked, but trusted me after some talking. He felt tired and dazed by the medication, so I told him to sleep, and that his family would be here when he woke up. So, I say you can enter and see him, but he will be able to a good talk and go home just tomorrow morning'.

'How much time is he supposed to have amnesia, Doctor?', Fran asked.

'It is not predictable. Normally, the daily routine helps people to recover their memories. The medication is a very important auxiliary measure, too'.

They thanked the doctor and decided to enter and see Niles, before going home.

He had a bandage around his head, and was sound asleep. Fran immediately run to his side and took his hand. Maxwell was misty eyed, and stayed besides the nanny.

CC went to the other side of the bed, and kept looking at Niles. It would be very strange, having to introduce herself to him again.

Oh, God. Disturbing it was, again. But would it be fun, too?


	4. Going home

CHAPTER 4: GOING HOME

Next morning, Maxwell went alone to take Niles home. It was a good thing he realized that there was no one else Niles could surely remember, right now, but him.

When the producer entered the hospital room, with a photo album under his arm (Fran's idea), he saw Niles sitting on the bed, seeming a little anxious.

'Good morning, old man!', he got closer, smiling openly and deciding to ignore the awed face of his butler. 'How are you feeling today?', he asked, shaking the other's hand.

'I-I-I'm… well… Oh, my God, Max!'.

'What is it?'

'Oh, I'm sorry. It was… your grey hair. When I looked myself in the mirror, I had the same reaction. It is strange to wake one morning and see the face I could barely guess I would have in fifteen years. And now I'm seeing yours'.

Maxwell laughed. 'Don't worry, Niles. The doctor said it is just a question of time for you to remember everything. Nothing will be lost'.

Niles frowned a bit, hearing this. But then he seemed to decide to change the subject, and smirked. 'The good part is I have my training. I can work the same'.

'I was not thinking of it, you know'.

'Yes, of course not'. Niles said a bit bitterly, but winked at his boss, to warn him he was joking.

Maxwell smiled, because this provocative attitude was all Niles, no matter the age he had. Of course, the years made it a little less opened, so now it was coming back full force.

'So, what is it you brought? A photo album? That's great, sir!'

Maxwell noticed the change in the way of calling him, but decided not to comment. With Niles maybe one could never know if it was the amnesia or the provocation going on.

Niles took the album, and Maxwell excused himself to sit on the edge of the bed.

He spent a good hour showing the photographs to Niles. Fran had organized them in a chronological order, so he could talk about the arriving of CC, the birth of Maggie, Brighton and Grace, the death of Sarah, some of the successful shows in the meanwhile, the arriving of Fran and the Fine clan, and some other adventures they got themselves into, since then.

Maxwell was very moved by the end of the explanation, and Niles maintained the silence for a long time, before whispering. 'Even with the terrible loss, I think we managed very well', he was smiling, and soon was Maxwell. 'This CC became much more than an assistant, and this Miss Fine is a ray of light, as I see'.

'You're correct, Niles. That's how I see them, too'.

Niles nodded, smiling, 'You know I'm good at reading people', and kept looking at a photograph at the end of the album.

It was a shot with all of them, taken at Sylvia's, the night they got lost in the snow. They seemed to be happy together, all of them: Maxwell and his beautiful family, the warm Miss Fine, himself and that stunning Miss Babcock.

Wow (he couldn't take his eyes off of her, now). She seemed terribly uncomfortable in the shot, and at the same time, fitting perfectly in…

Wow…

'So, old man. Ready to go home?'

Niles' head snapped in attention. 'Oh, yes. The doctor came earlier and I'm free. You just have to call a nurse, while I change into something more appropriated for the streets. It's not that I think I'm in bad shape, not at all, but the times hadn't change enough that I can go out showing my backside all around… At least this is my guess by what I saw on tv…'.

'No, the times hadn't changed that much. Take your time, Niles. I can wait', Maxwell answered, standing up.

'Oh, you won't have to wait for long. I'm anxious to be at the mansion and see where I have been for the last fifteen years!'


	5. The welcoming

CHAPTER 5: THE WELCOMING

Maxwell had feared a silent ride home, but he soon was forced to remember how curious and energetic Niles could be when really excited.

The butler came all the way from the hospital to the house asking about everything they passed by. He commented all he remembered, the differences in shape, color and style on the streets – people, buildings, everything. To him, it was like he had been there yesterday, and things had changed all of a sudden.

From a certain point of the trip, Maxwell had to ask for help from the driver.

It was good, because the man started answering the questions to Niles, and the producer had some peace to simply observe his long-time friend.

It was great to see him so full of life, so interested in everything. It was a nice change from that usually bitter Niles. However, it was a bit frightening to have that young and inexperienced Niles back. He was always clever, but time had made him the relatively tamed hurricane Maxwell learned to rely on. Now he had back that guy who had almost gone away soon after they came to the United States.

Sometimes Maxwell wondered what had made Niles stay. It would be useful to know, now. It would make him certain to succeed in keeping him by his side, as things should be.

NCCNCCNCCNCC

Maxwell was not able to open the front door - Fran was already there when they arrived.

In fact, the three siblings and Fran were waiting for them in the living room, but the nanny was the fastest to reach the door to greet the guys.

'Well, Niles, this is Miss Fran Fine, as you must have already realized', Maxwell softly explained.

'Yes, sir', Niles answered after taking a bit of Fran's hair from his face. She had been on his arms the moment he stepped on the mansion, talking non-stop about how worried she was and how happy she was and how confusing all of this was.

'Oh, sorry, sweety', she said apologetically while taking a step back to give him some space. 'How do you feel?'

'First, I thank you, miss Fine. I really appreciate the welcoming', Niles answered, and then smiled brightly at her, 'And I feel younger than I look'.

'Feeling younger does miracles, Niles. I wonder if memory loss always gives this result', Fran frowned, contemplating the idea.

'Oh, no, it doesn't, I can guarantee. I mean, how younger can a person seem when she has a hangover? And it surely causes memory loss! Well, it makes me think if there is something good at all in not remembering things', he shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant, but it was clear how bad he felt about the subject.

'Certain things are made to forget, amateur…', Fran put a hand on his arm, grinning, but suddenly she was in full understanding-mode, 'But don't think so hard about it. I'll help you enjoy this while it lasts'.

Seeing Niles' smile to the brunette, Maxwell was in awe by the ease they had to bond. It seemed that, no matter the epoch of life they meet, they would be great friends and share moments like that.

He noticed the children staring, as amazed as himself, and decided to provide some introductions. 'Niles, here we have my children: Margareth, Brighton and Grace'.

Niles went to them, smiling sweetly. 'I must confess I don't remember you, but I hope I've been a good guy. You're very beautiful, and your father just told me great stories about you while I was at the hospital'.

They were shocked by some moments, and Grace was the first to overcome it. 'You were great to us, Niles. I wouldn't use the word _good_, but…'

Maxwell made a face at her.

'She is right, daddy', Brighton came in rescue of his sister. 'He has no memory of us, so we must say the truth. You were disrespectful, sarcastic and funny. But man, we learned to enjoy your kind of humor!'

Niles just stared at them, as he was processing that. He looked pointedly at Margareth. 'Is that the truth?'

She confirmed. 'Yeah, Niles. We like you a lot, but you were never the sweetest of the guys. Well, in fact, you were sweet, but in a very peculiar way'.

'We can talk about it, if you want to. I can find an hour to have an appointment…', Grace suggested.

Niles frowned for a moment, and then he seemed to have a revelation. 'Hey! You like Freud, don't you?', he asked the younger sibling.

'You remembered?', she asked, smiling brightly.

'Yes! And yes, I'd love to have an appointment with you to talk about my bitter-sweet personality'.

'Oh, and the new aspects of it while living this life-changing experience!', the girl beamed.

'Ok, ok, now it's getting creepy', Fran interjected. 'It's time to go to bed. Tomorrow you can talk about whatever you want'.

The children whined a little, specially Maggie ('Can't I wait until we know what's the first thing he will remember about B?') but said their good-nights and went upstairs.

When just the adults were in the room, Niles cleared his throat. 'I wonder… where is Miss Babcock?'

Fran answered quickly. 'She is in the office, darling. Do you wish to see her?'

Maxwell offered, 'I can call her'.

'No', Fran interrupted. 'I think it can trigger some good memories. Go there, sweety'.

Niles excused himself and went to the office, after making sure it was still at the same room he remembered.

Maxwell waited until Niles was out of sight and showed his distress. 'Are you sure about it, Miss Fine?'

'Can't you see, Mr. Sheffield? She was like crazy when she knew about the accident, and today she decided to hide in the office'.

Silence. Maxwell, obviously, didn't see anything.

'They have a very special relationship, but they are in denial. We let them run free, sit and watch'.

'I'm not sure you know how wild can Niles be when running free thinking he is fifteen years younger, Miss Fine…'

'Well, I'll soon find out'.

'I think it is dangerous… I'm going there with them…'

'Wait! What is this about young and wild Englishmen? Maybe you have some amazing stories yourself, sir… Mind to chat in the kitchen?'

She offered her arm and a dazzling smile, and he forgot everything about his butler and business partner, for a while.


	6. The first encounter

**Chapter 6: The first encounter**

Niles reached the office door quickly, a bit anxious to finally meet the fascinating woman he could feel was peaking out from every photo he had seen in that album.

He stopped in front of the closed office door. He could hear the woman yelling from there.

'What the hell does he think he is?! I don't care he is a prize-winner actor! I have a prize-winner stallion and I don't walk around repeating that so people show respect! You're a manager, not his father! Shape up and tell your client to…'

Niles was wide-eyed by the turn of the phrase.

At this point, without even realizing it, he had put a hand on the door, as if he could sense the energy coming from her and making invisible strings vibrate inside him.

He heard the phone being slammed down, and the sound broke him from his reverie and made him notice how different he felt about this house, just because he _could feel_ that woman.

Niles took a look at the corridor: he had memories of this as a temporary place, one he should care for a short period of his life; it was his work, and he would made it properly, but as soon as he saw a chance to go away and make something of his own life, he would make it.

Of course, Maxwell was his friend, and Sarah, his wife, was a sweet woman. But it didn't mean it was enough to keep Niles in this house. He had a lot of dreams and the capacity to make some of them real.

But now, just minutes after getting in the house, he was convinced that woman was responsible for him staying. The sound of her voice, her strong temper and bizarre attitude got him hooked on the spot, wishing he had a magical power to make her look at him with interest, now that he had a second chance to meet her.

Niles closed his eyes. Whatever it was, his memory loss hadn't erased this feeling that life had a purpose to him that was related to impressing her.

It must be strong. It made him let opportunities go, and made him feel at home even without remembering his own life.

The idea of someone being more important than his own dreams was frightening and, at the same time, proved he was not a selfish person at all – no matter what his own parents had told him every time he voiced his unhappiness about being a servant forever.

Of course, deep inside he knew he was a good guy, caring and kind-hearted, but it was hard to feel like you're doing something wrong when you just wish to be happy.

However, if being happy was dedicating his life to these people and living next to this woman, it curiously (and ironically) made him live a life that certainly made his parents very proud, and gave him the opportunity to exercise the best of him.

Niles opened his eyes and felt like he had his heart open, too, to discover this path of life he seemed to have chosen.

Satisfied by this notion, he knocked lightly on the door, breathed deeply and entered.

'Miss Babcock', he called softly, smiling instinctively at her figure, seated at the green leather sofa and fussing angrily with some papers.

'Can you believe that man?! He…', she started, looking at him, and then froze.

She noted Niles had a curious expression on his face: a mix of fascination and curiosity, that could be seen in the deep interest reflected in his blue eyes and in the intrigued line of his mouth.

And those features made her remember everything that had happened, the fact she was here in the office trying to forget that a man without trace of memory of her was to arrive, maybe giving her a new opportunity to meet him…

_Oh, yes. And the first thing he sees is you yelling at a man on the phone. Congratulations! _

She couldn't help blushing but was brave enough to stand, straightened her clothes and looked at him. 'Well, I suppose you recognized me by my _modus operandi_ at work. People must have told you about me'.

Niles was still adapting to the sound of her voice, after seeing the photographs – he didn't know how to concentrate while feeling so turned on by that deep voice of hers.

And more: she was making a kind of pout who made her seem disgusted and provocative, at the same time.

_So, that's how things are, between us? She keeps me guessing if she is disgusted or provocative… Uhm…I think I like it…_

Niles walked towards her, getting out of the frame of the door and putting himself standing two steps from her, chins up to one another. It seemed surprisingly comfortable. 'People didn't have to say anything. I saw some photographs, listened to some stories and knew it just could be you'.

'Because you could sense my witch powers?'

'Because I imagined you being this kind of magnificent'.

CC felt a thrilling sensation but knew he was trying to recognize the territory where he was standing. It was a delicate moment, and she decided to maintain things all the same, just opening the doors of their relationship a little bit more.

That's why she made a superior face at him. 'Look who thinks he can gain space by being sweet. It's an interesting take, Butler Boy…'

She had to stop talking. He gulped, visibly turned on by the nickname.

CC smiled, basking in his perceptible arousal. 'I think it is clear to you how unfair things can get. I have a lot of information you haven't'.

Niles made an effort to control his voice. 'Should I be afraid?'

She gave a throaty laugh, and his mouth went dry. 'Oh, you have more problems to deal it'.

'I can't think of anyone better than you to point them out to me'.

'Why would I do it?'

'Because, once I'm free of other dangers, the game will be even, and I'm sure you prefer capable adversaries', he gave another step towards her, sensing how her eyes gained intensity while she tried not to look so much at his eyes, mouth and chest. 'That's why I feel you prefer _me_'.

She decided not to comment on the last part of his phrase, but couldn't let him down. 'Maybe you're right, after all…'

'_It's not fun kicking a dog when he is down'_, both said in unison.

He smiled, crossing his arms, and she had to look away to hide her wild grin.

'So… what can you tell me in order to accelerate my recuperation?'

She seemed to think for some moments, then stated, a finger in the air. 'First of all: Nanny Fine will try to train you. Be aware of the kind of knowledge she will be teaching you. The world doesn't revolve around Barbra Streisand and _Saturday Night Fever _has not been the standard for fashion for decades'.

'Oh… Thank you'.

'What more… Uhm… Maxwell will be deaf to the major part of the advices you'll try to give him… You'll have to be very smooth to reach him'.

'It haven't changed'.

'And the children: the big one makes everything Nanny Fine says; the boy would be interested by anything that involves money and mischief; the young one is a therapy obsessed…'

'I already have an appointment with her. I think it will be fun. She seems to be a clever girl'.

'And you like clever woman…'

'Always the clever ones. Career women turn me on'.

This time CC bit her lower lip to hide her smile. Niles noticed and she noticed he had noticed, and both were very content with it.

There was a kind of enchantment around them. Almost like those many moments in the past when they just had to give one more step to do something totally different from bickering…

CC decided to break it for now. 'Well, and then there is me…'

Niles quickly raised his hand. 'Don't tell me anything'.

'Like to live dangerously?'

He smirked. 'It would be a good reason, too. But the fact is I'm sure I won't need any help. Things about you keep coming'.

'Really?'

'Yes. Not complete memories, but phrases, expressions, situations… It's like I have a separated part of my mind just dedicated to you, and it is working very well, fuelling my intuition. This is leading me to find the memories of you quicker than the rest'.

For the first time in this conversation, Niles seemed a bit shy. He averted his eyes and talked softly. 'For example, I already know that you and I don't have the simplest of the relationships, but I feel absolutely secure about coming to you for guidance. Thus, I'll keep coming to you when I'm in need. I hope you don't mind'.

CC found it deliciously cute, but again decided not to make things too sweet. 'Let me see if I got it: there's a voice inside your mind saying I'm the only person in this house you can trust, and you'll go for it?'

Niles laughed at that. 'God, it sounds awfully stupid!'. He noticed how she smiled sweetly and sobered, 'But yes, I'll go with my feelings. They're strong and they are probably the best way I have to not get lost in this situation'. He gave her a moment to digest that and repeated himself in that soft tone again. 'I hope you don't mind'.

CC looked at him and detected he was asking for a sincere answer. 'I don't mind, Niles. Not at all'.

His expression was blessed relief.

And his eyes showed also something suspiciously similar to hope.

Again, they were involved by a wave of understanding and excitation that was obvious for the two of them.

Breaking the moment again, CC turned to the green leather sofa, took her purse and commanded, 'Well, it's late. I'm going home. See me to the door'.

She was out of the room when he was able to register what she was saying. It was sudden, but he was quick to understand the calling.

Niles arrived in the foyer in time to see her standing there, waiting for him to get her coat.

He was doing exactly that when Maxwell and Fran came from the kitchen.

'What's happening? Where are you going?', the nanny asked, surprised to see the butler and the socialite together next to the door.

'I'm leaving', the blonde announced.

Maxwell didn't understand the Fran's wary tone. 'Of course, CC. I haven't noticed how late it was. Have a good night'.

'Thank you. See you tomorrow morning'. She accepted Niles' help to adjust her coat and turned to him, 'Keep alive'.

'If you promise not to return in the middle of the night…'

'Afraid of what I can do to you at night? How disappointing'.

He opened the door for her. 'We prefer a fair game, remember? I know you can be patient'.

She just smiled and exited.

Niles closed the door and kept looking through the glass, following her with his eyes until she disappeared.

Then he sighed, still smiling, noticed the couple waiting for him to say something, and suddenly he had a memory back, and said, in a cool demeanor, 'Good night, people'.

He went to his room already dwelling in the memory of that kiss in the den.

Wouldn't it be amazing if each day brought intense conversations like that and delicious memories? Even if the memories had not much context as he wished them to have?

Each moment he found easier to understand why he had chose to spend his life like this...


	7. History lesson

**Amnesia**

**Chapter 7: History Lesson**

CC was deeply annoyed when she entered the Sheffield's kitchen, next afternoon.

People seemed to have the goal of making her life difficult, lately.

After that very promising conversation with Niles in the office last night, all she wanted was to see him again.

To her surprise, Nanny Fine abducted him through the whole next day: every time she went to the kitchen, it was empty. Maxwell didn't know exactly what was happening, but he remembered the annoying woman telling him that she would take Niles to the grocery store, and to Bocca to meet her mother, and the logical of this was lost on her.

What could be better to jog his memory back than he staying in the house to exchange zingers?

The day was terribly boring, without the thrilling sensation of meeting the butler. When everything was normal, she never knew when or where they would meet: sometimes she went to the kitchen, sometimes he went to the office, sometimes they met in the foyer, sometimes outdoors… It was funny how both of them provided opportunities just to be in the same room, stealing glances at each other and saying funny things.

Why had Nanny Fine the right to take away her fun?

CC remembered the conversation with that same woman, right before Niles' accident: the fact Fran thought she could work very well with Niles, and CC's epiphany on Niles meaning _fun_ to her – it made more and more sense.

But, if the Nanny knew they belong together, why was she taking him away?

Today was all wrong, too: CC spent it at the theater and, to her fury, she had to go directly to the theater again, next morning.

All she wanted was to arrive next morning and see Niles, but no, of course Fate would never let things happen so easily.

All of her extra preparations to see the butler would be for nothing: she had a day of boring reunions and sharp decisions, and she arrived at the mansion tired and, as already said, deeply annoyed. No recently sprayed perfume on her body, not cool demeanor, nothing to make a big impression on the man.

And now something acceptable was finally happening: the opportunity to bite someone's head off. She reached the kitchen ready to find Nanny Fine and make her regret taking her toy away.

On a second thought, it was probable that, if she was in the kitchen, Niles would be there, too; would CC be prepared to make a show and put the Nanny on her place in front of him?

The ideal scenario had Nanny Fine and any other person related to her, gathered around Niles, so she would be the hero and rescue him from the army of fools.

Maybe it was for good: Nanny Fine and her mother, or Nanny Fine and Val would be acceptable victims, after such a day.

On the other side, maybe Niles would defend his friends, and this would really be the worst scenario of all.

But, as everybody knows, a bad day is a bad day, and things were not by her side: she couldn't guess what she found in the kitchen; thus, she was not prepared.

She was concentrating her forces for throwing a fit, but when she opened the kitchen door, the scene overwhelmed her.

Niles was seated at the kitchen table, glasses on, clad in a blue t-shirt that made his arms, chest and shoulders almost incredible. In front of him was a book he was reading, and there were other books, scattered on the table, all open in marked pages.

He was simply beautiful, engrossed in the book, one of his skilled hands on a page, the other relaxed on the table, his hair a bit messed, his elegant posture while seated and studying. It was the perfect mix of an intellectual and a hard working man.

'Hey', he looked up and smiled. 'Rough day?'

_Oh, great. _'Am I that horrible?', she answered, pretending she didn't mind the answer and sitting before him.

'No, it is just the expression on your face. You seem tired. Maybe a bit startled'.

_Oh_. 'You think I'm an open book, don't you?'

'To me, yes, you are', he answered as it was the most obvious thing in the world, got up and turned to the island. 'Herbal tea?'

'Yes, sure'. She was so impressed by his relaxed behavior it took her a moment to notice his choice. 'You really remember the things I like…'

He smirked at her, coming back to the table with two glasses of tea. 'I told you. Things just keep coming. I bet you'd be delighted by the things I brought from the grocery store yesterday. I remember choosing them for you, in another occasions'.

They smiled at each other. 'I'm glad I won't have to ask for my favorite snacks. They're the only ones you remember, anyway'.

'You're really a lucky girl. You had an excellent gourmet that liked cooking your favorite things; now you have an excellent gourmet that just remembers your favorite things…'

'Yeah…', she used the deep low voice and the throaty laughter that always made him shiver.

It was not different now. He didn't even try to hide it.

'Are you cold, Butler Boy?', she smirked.

'For God's sake, woman! You're a sensorial overload!'.

Niles made a distressed face she knew he just had when he was trying to convey he was disgusted and not delighted. 'Can't take it?'

He calmed himself, made a sidelong glance, took his glasses off and put one of the temple tips next to his lips. 'Can you?'

She understood perfectly what he meant for sensory overload: he was using his voice, hands, lips and eyes to seduce her. She did the same, but now she was sure it was not innocent – from neither of them.

'What are you reading?', she asked, changing the subject.

He smiled, folding the glasses and putting them on the table. He seemed to accept her decision. 'History Books. They are Grace's. I couldn't rely on Miss Fine to know certain things'.

'I see. She's not the deepest of minds…'

'On the other side, I'm able to sing to you any great successful pop song of the last decade'.

'Oh, now I have a motivation to live'.

'So, I can count you'll be thinking of a song request?'

'Yes, you can count on it. You have an amazing voice'.

She didn't know why she had said the compliment, but this situation was having a calming effect on her. She felt relaxed and happy just for being here, talking to Niles and enjoying his company.

'So… how are you feeling about what you discovered?', she asked, pointing the books.

'Well, it's good to know the Cold War is over', he smiled, 'and that people invented something like internet'. She agreed. 'However, at a personal level, it's like being in one of these movies where the characters find a time machine. The difference is I know I won't go back and have the opportunity to change things, in the end'.

He seemed somber over it, and she felt a bit sad. 'What would you change?'

Niles sighed. 'I don't know. When I saw my reflection in a mirror at the hospital, the first thing that came to my mind was _God, I'm old! What have I done?_. I was worried about having spent my life on the wrong things'.

He stopped talking, and she felt nervous. Was he unhappy with his decisions?

He resumed. 'Now I can see I chose the right things. I followed my heart and chose the things that made me happy. There was no sense in keeping those dreams of a successful career if it would take me away from people I love and trust'.

He was looking pointedly at her while saying this, and CC put a hand over her heart, moved by his words.

'Miss Babcock… I want you to know that… I'm anxious because I can't remember the most part of these years. I remember fragments, and they are not enough for me to understand… the current state of things…'

It was obvious he was still talking about his personal History, not the world's. She softly spoke, trying to show the parallel. 'That's why you are reading the History books? To understand how things have developed until they become what they are now?'

He just nodded, looking deeply in her eyes. Both knew they had an understanding.

CC breathed, bit her lower lip and kept their eyes locked. 'Listen to me, Niles. I'm sure you'll remember what has happened. However, I think you should not worry about it. The past cannot be changed, and it is not a bad thing… in your case'.

'That's how you feel?'

'Yes'.

'It means… I can relax, because things are exactly what they should be… and I can make some History from now on…'

'Well, you know what they say. It is important to know the past to not repeat the mistakes in the future… But you said something about knowing things. I think you can trust your gut in this'.

'Maybe these feelings and fragmentary memories are all I need, then'.

'That's what I think. You should really relax and take your time. The things that are fundamental – my favorite dishes, for example – you already know. What more does the world needs from you?'

'I see…', Niles smiled at her and suddenly was very excited. 'What do you say we spend some time together?'

'I thought you had Nanny Fine for this', she knew she was pouting and showing how jealous she was, but she couldn't prevent it.

'Oh, God, woman! She is a great friend, but she is not the one I _need_'.

'I'm sure she makes you laugh and makes this situation a lot lighter'.

'You really have no idea, do you?'

'What?'

'Listen, Babcock', suddenly Niles was inflamed, 'You must have it clear: I spent the entire day with her yesterday, and this morning, and this afternoon... It was fun, it helped me to remember some things, but all of them made me think, in some way, about you. It's like everything I have in my life is related to you'. He crossed his arms and pouted. 'And this is the closest to _you're the center of my world_ you'll hear from me'.

She grinned. 'That means Nanny Fine is not enough right now?'

'There's no comparison between you and her. I don't know why, but talking to you like this, even if it doesn't make me remember anything new, is way better than spending a whole day with her. She is sweet and warm, and I feel strange about wishing I could be with you instead, but I can't fight it'.

'Maybe you have good taste'.

'Maybe I have feelings for you'.

CC was wide eyed.

Niles winced like he had said something terribly… unbecoming...

At this point, Fran Fine entered the kitchen, mid-sentence. '… and I really don't know what can take you so long to find in these books, Niles. I had the movie ready for hours and… Oh, Miss Babcock, how are you?'

CC didn't know if it was a good or a bad sign that the Nanny had interrupted them at that point.

Remembering the last two days, she decided it was bad.

Thus, she had to make something to show Niles they were not over. Fate was trying to annoy her, but she was stronger than this.

History is made by people who win against the odds, after all.

'I'm fine, thank you. I was exactly telling the butler I have some good documentaries on History. God knows he is so slow reading he will react like Yetta for a while, yet. _They shoot Kennedy?_', she impersonated, laughing.

'I told him he would learn a lot more from my videos, but he keeps disappearing when I have things set on!'

'Really? And why would that be, Dust Bunny?'

'I just wanted to vary my activities'.

'We've made a lot of things! We went shopping, we talked to Ma, we visited Yetta, we watched _Yentl_, we…'

'I know, Miss Fine', he got up and took her hands, 'And I thank you for the time you dedicated to me'.

'Sweety! You're my friend, I want you to get better! You don't have to thank me!'

They smiled at each other, and the alarms in CC's head were all on at the same time.

'Hey, you two. I can't stand the existence of two Nanny Fines in this house! Niles is coming with me tomorrow'.

He grinned as a fool, letting go of Fran's hand. 'Really?'

'Of course. Someone must help your poor soul'.

'It's a trap, Niles', Fran warned.

'I know. Vampires use this line often, to entice their victims', he kept grinning.

Fran looked from one to another. 'Oh, my Gosh! You're lost!'. She knew when she had no chance. 'Well, if you change your mind, I'll be around'. And with that she got out of the kitchen.

Silence and locked stares again. Niles was enchanted, CC was felling empowered.

'Are you free tomorrow?', she asked, head up high, demanding.

'I can be', he had the lopsided grin.

'Maxwell isn't pestering you?'

'I told him I feel dizzy if I work too hard'.

'And he fell for that?'

'I'm good with words, Babcock'.

'I'll pick you up tomorrow morning'.

'After breakfast. I want you to have some of my croissants'.

'Deal. See you, Butler Boy'.

'See you, Brunette'. Again, he flinched. 'I don't know where this came from'.

She smiled and turned to the door. 'Don't worry. It's a wonderful memory. I hope it will come soon for you. Swine'.

She disappeared and he felt like he should be insulted, but was not. In fact, he felt turned on.

Scattered images of him, her, a bottle of whisky and… a kiss returned.

Niles had to support himself on the table.

WOW.

He got up quickly. He needed to go to his room, and decide if it was the case to invest in the memory or to have a cold shower.

Who was he kidding? No cold showers for him! Men who make History must not hide from their past – let the memory run free!


	8. The three meals of the day

**Amnesia**

**Chapter 8: The three meals of the day**

_Breakfast_

'Good morning everyone!', sing-songed Fran, entering the dining room for breakfast.

'Good morning, Miss Fine', greeted back a grinning Maxwell Sheffield, while the children nodded happily at her.

'I see everybody is in a great mood! What happened?', she asked, sitting at her usual place.

'Can't you smell it?', Brighton was surprised.

'Smell wha…', she started to ask when the door of the kitchen opened and Niles entered with some trays, 'Oh, my God! You're back!'

Niles smiled at her. 'I felt well enough to keep a light routine, Miss Fine. Glad you all are enjoying it'.

Everybody agreed heartily at that. Niles started serving the family and soon they were eating, taking the pancakes and croissants like they were a blessing.

The butler stood next to the serving table, waiting calmly for more requests that would surely come, but couldn't stop feeling a bit sad – he had thought Miss Babcock would be in the mansion for breakfast. She wasn't, and he knew he was throwing puppy stares at the chair she should be occupying by now, but it was the best he could do, under the circumstances – the other option was pouting.

'Won't you sit with us, Niles?', Gracie asked him.

'Oh, yes, Old Man, you know you can', Maxwell reinforced, probably misunderstanding his behavior.

'Thank you, Sir, thank you, Miss Grace, but I prefer to watch you from here. It's funnier'.

The family pretended to be offended and laughed at the look he gave Fran when she tried to menace him with a chocolate-covered finger.

The real reason he decided to stand was that he dared to hope CC would arrive at any moment and, for some reason, he felt she would appreciate if he had waited for her.

_Why isn't she here?_, Niles kept thinking._ I like her company so much… Is it possible she was just being kind, and in fact she had no intention of spending the day with me?_

Niles sighed. It was not like her to be kind.

With that he smiled: was it strange that he preferred her not being kind?

The family was chatting about the day that was ahead. The children had school and Fran intended to stay at home, in case someone needed her.

Niles noticed how she looked pointedly at him when she said that, but pretended he didn't notice. She said not a word about the blond coming to take him, even if he had told her about it, yesterday.

Maybe he was the only one who had believed her words… Maybe the socialite wouldn't even come to the mansion today... Maybe it was a routine everybody knew but him…

And suddenly, there was a blast of energy entering the room.

'Hello, hello!'

Everybody answered a proper 'Good, morning, Miss Babcock', but Niles was only able to look at her and grin as a fool.

She locked stares with him for some moments, smiled back and then took a seat at the table. 'Oh, Maxwell, I'm so sorry I'm late. It seems everybody decided to go to the streets, this morning'.

'You couldn't scare the concurrence in the light of the day?'

Everybody looked at Niles and he blushed. 'I'm sorry, I don't know where this came from'.

CC smiled and nodded. 'Anyway, I think I'll have to eat and go to the theater very quickly'.

'That's all right, CC, I understand', her partner answered, already standing. 'Just do what must be done. I'll be here in the office all day, in case you need me. Miss Fine, would you come with me?'

Fran didn't seem to enjoy the invitation, for a moment. She was really interested in following the conversation between the butler and the socialite. She had a strange feeling about those two, and thought it was her obligation to protect Niles from any scheme the blond would make.

However, the invitation was warm, what probably meant she had not done anything wrong this time – Mr. Sheffield was going to give her some good news on something. She hurried the children to get ready for school and exited the room with all of them.

CC looked at the departing group and threw her hands in the air once they vanished from view. 'God, I thought they would never go!'

Niles smirked. 'You have perfect timing. Have you planned this?'

'Obviously. People here are very predictable'.

'And I was under the impression you wouldn't come. How naïve can I be?'

A sudden memory of him in the office, making some silly dance steps, came to him, and Niles remembered it was a prank of hers and his zinger about her getting satisfaction from a man so rarely…

He felt hot in a mix of embarrassment and arousal, and made an effort to focus on what she was saying.

'… and it is good for you to know this. Besides, Nanny Fine is not the only one who loves your breakfast, Niles. Even you like it'. She smiled and made a gesture of invitation. 'Sit down with me'.

'I have always been considered a very good cook', he answered, sitting down. 'And this morning it was clear that all the family likes what I do for their meals'.

'But you noticed that, if I have arrived a bit later, Nanny Fine was the one to blame for the lack of croissants, didn't you?'. He nodded at that, taking one. 'And don't worry about me. I'd never let the opportunity to be alone with your croissants slip through my fingers…'

Niles served some latte for himself. 'That's good, because I didn't eat, waiting for you'.

'You shouldn't', CC admonished him, 'What about your meds?'

'They're still on time. Besides, I feel great'.

She didn't answer, just threw him a wary look and resumed eating.

Niles was enjoying the show of her pleasured expression while eating his croissants, but at the same time it made his mouth dry. Thinking improper things at the sight of her was usual for him, if what he was feeling now was standard.

Searching desperately for a subject to distract his brain from her face, he remembered he was anxious to hear the confirmation they would be together for the day.

'In fact, I feel so great I'm ready for any thing the day brings'.

Silence.

'Even if it takes all day far from the mansion'.

Silence again.

'Because, you know, a change of place is always welcomed…'

Still, silence.

'God, woman, if you have changed your mind about spending the day with me, just tell me! Don't make me suffer like this… I…'

He stopped talking. She had a devious smile on her face and finally talked, in a sultry and mocking tone, 'Shut up and eat or we'll be late for the theater'.

Niles moaned and started consuming his croissants, the mixed feelings of shame and arousal back again, full force.

CC stole a glance at him just to enjoy his blushing.

_Lunch_

'Why are you eating this?', CC asked noticing the forlorn stare Niles was directing his own plate of food, almost all green stuff.

They were in a restaurant with a buffet; she rarely went there, once she preferred going to the mansion to have lunch with the family. Sometimes she created a flexible schedule even for rehearsal days, so she could run away from the theater and stop at her favorite place to eat – the Sheffield's.

It was a good place to be with Niles, once the people who she could meet there were, in its majority, just the ones from their production – everybody knew who they were and would respect their privacy.

'Miss Fine told me I had a heart attack and should refrain from some things, like eating high fat food, for example'.

'You had a mild heart attack and you're exercising regularly. The doctors told you would be all right once you didn't exaggerated on anything'.

'But…', he seemed confused.

'She probably just wanted your French Fries'.

'What do you mean? She…'. Realization hit him and he got up. 'Oh, you're right. I'll be back soon'.

CC smiled while she followed him with her eyes. It was good to have him around, specially when she could paint Nanny Fine as the bad girl.

The vision of his backside was something worth her attention, too. It made her remember the way he seated at the theater, the entire morning, relaxed in an armchair and watching her work.

In the beginning she thought she would be feel constrained by his presence, but soon she felt at home, yelling at people and ordering them around. She never forgot he was there, but the fact he was watching made her desire to show him how bossy and strong she really was.

When the morning came to an end, she felt alive and vibrant, went into his direction and noticed, as her senses were hypersensitive, the shining of his eyes and the curve of his broad shoulders against the seat.

'Ah!', he was back, sitting in front of her with a satisfied grin on his face. 'It's way better to be able to make a more… equilibrated choice of food'.

'That's more like you', she commented, tenderly.

'Pardon?'

She smirked. 'That amount of green was creeping me out'.

'As if Bigfoot would be crept out by something that made people recall a forest…', he mumbled, taking a sip of his juice and looking at a blank point in space.

CC kept looking at him and noticed he hadn't realized what he had said. She just waited to discover what would happen next.

'Thanks for bringing me here, Miss Babcock. It's a very nice place. It's amazing how you can always do the right thing'. He started eating.

The socialite pondered over the possibility of bringing on the subject of him blurting zingers at her in one moment and complimenting her in the next; but then, he was so at peace, just savoring his food and their time together… She didn't have the heart to disturb the moment.

After some mouthfuls, he resumed the conversation. 'I thought you were going to say you see me as an equilibrated person. You know, a reasonable one'.

'I do. Not at all times, of course', she made a face, thinking he could be really unreasonable, and even more now he had this lack of memory. 'However, you're usually quite… reliable'.

That was a funny thing to say, in fact.

CC remembered how she always searched him in the house, how she always wanted him to cheer her up when she felt down… How she always knew he would tell her the most amazing news of the mansion, how he always said the sensitive thing…

Maybe reliable was the right word, after all.

'Even you can't be reasonable at all times', he winked at her.

CC was surprised by the change in tone. 'My turn to say… Pardon?'

'I saw you working. You manage it very well, but I guess sometimes people must make you step out of your natural elegance'.

'You found me… elegant while I work?'

'Maybe the word is wrong. You have a certain… grace on you. I don't know how to explain it'.

'It's one of your feelings…'

'Yes, it is. Am I wrong?'

The debate was almost painful in CC's mind: she could just be sincere and tell him she never thought of herself as a graceful person while yelling at actors and demanding things from choreographers, but the idea _he_ saw her like that (beyond even _her_ expectations) made her wish she had time to think things over before giving him an answer.

Once she kept silent, he resumed talking. 'You know, I may be a decade and a half out-fashioned. The actual style might be sweet women, and this makes me an ignorant for thinking you would feel complimented by what I said. However, my point stands: I think you were perfect, this morning'.

CC smiled at him. 'You seem to like dominating women'.

'I like challenges. In fact, people should like them, because they make us wish to be better'. He frowned. 'And, even if we've been civil to each other, something Fran said is not common, I have this thrilling sensation about you and the things you can do to me'.

'Don't listen to her', CC was saying before she could stop herself. 'Nanny Fine doesn't understand our dynamics. I'm a totally different woman from her, and she shouldn't even try to… Well, you understand what I mean'.

'Maybe I do. Would she be the sweet-woman prototype? The one the common folk approve of, the maternal type that people tend to idolize?'

CC made a dismissive gesture. 'We're in a very democratic society. Even if sweet women are always approved by men, I think there's space for the more aggressive and independent ones, nowadays'.

Niles let on a relieved sigh. 'Thank God! For some moments I thought I had taken the Madonna phenomenon all wrong'.

CC laughed at that. 'I'm not a Madonna fan, but you could have just asked me about the meaning of her work, if that interests you that much'.

'It interests me because it makes me understand if what I feel for you is that different from what the rest of people feel. This feeling of awe, for example, that I have now'.

'Well, I can say some of the actors were awed, this morning…'

They laughed together, and started commenting some of the most awing methods CC had used…

_Snack time_

They entered the kitchen talking amiably.

It was almost 6 PM, and both were tired by the day, but surprisingly excited by being together and discussing the variety of subjects that had come in their conversations.

'I want some tea', Niles said, but his tone and way to look at her indicated he was making an offer.

'Yes, that would be great'.

She didn't need to tell him what was her favorite flavor, so she reclined on the front of the island, her purse forgotten on it, observing Niles fetching the kettle and the tea bags.

She had her back supported on the island, and stretched her arms and yawned.

'Tired, I see', he murmured, in a surprisingly low tone.

CC turned to him. He had come to stand besides her, the left side of his hip touching the counter.

'Yes, I am. I love my work, but it can be hard, sometimes'.

'I never thought it would be so interesting'.

'The theater?'

'You'.

She was surprised; not by the feelings he was showing, but by the sincerity of his tone.

CC wanted to answer, but couldn't find the words. All she was able to do was to look into his eyes.

Niles didn't know how to proceed, too.

It seemed they had danced around each other all day long, and now it was time to stop it and act on their feelings.

There was pleasure in those rituals of conversation, provocation and the eventual zinger, but the tension couldn't be put aside anymore.

Niles wished he could do something to break the tension.

Then, with his peripheral vision, he spotted the sponge on the counter.

He took it, started to pretend he was cleaning the surface, staring intently as the circles he was drawing with the sponge were getting closer to her hand.

He saw CC following his movements with her eyes, noticed the way her hips turned to him and came slightly forward without her hand moving an inch from the counter.

She was waiting for him, licking her lips and being open in invitation.

He dared to do it: he passed the sponge on her hand, delicately; she seemed mesmerized, and smile at him.

He took her hand and carried on his ministrations; she seemed fascinated by the contact of the skin.

Suddenly she took his hand that had the sponge, stopped it and turned the sponge around, so she could have the rough side.

And now the contact was a sweet surrender – her body let him see the waves of desire she had for him, mirroring the ones he was trying to control, each second with less and less force of will.

Niles felt that this was the signal he needed; thus, he got near her, the sponge fell, the hands touched, and they crushed against one another.

CC couldn't remember kissing with such a sensation of belonging: it was intense, tender and absolutely mind-blowing. It was even better that kiss they had shared in the main room, last year, because this time both wanted it, not just because they were aroused by anger, but because they were deeply aroused by what the other was.

They had a full day of each other – they knew exactly what they were getting into.

To Niles, the sensation of the kiss was even more than what he had fantasized: he wanted this woman in a way he never thought was possible. All he needed was to feel her and her pleasure of being with him. He rejoiced on hearing her moan on his mouth, on feeling her hands exploring his hair, his nape, his back, his…

Wow. This woman knew how to take a man in her hands…

Suddenly, Niles felt something that made him stop the kiss and give a step back.

'What's wrong?', CC asked, worried. Maybe all this emotion was too disturbing to him?

There was a kind of pain in his face, but it didn't seem to be physical, even if he put one hand on his forehead. 'I don't know. I just feel like… I'm doing something I should not… It's like… I should not permit myself…'. He frowned and put his hands on her arms. 'Tell me… Why aren't we together?'

It was CC's time to give a step back and break the contact. 'What do you mean?'

'This thing we have… it is very strong… It is undeniable… But we are not together. And now, I kissed you as I've been dreaming for a while, and I felt like it was wrong… Why?'

CC was wide-eyed. 'Niles… I…'

'Tell me. What is it?'

'I don't know what to say! And I always know what I want to say to you, so… _this_ conversation is what is wrong, not the kiss!'

'So, why does it feel like I was… betraying someone?'

'For God' sake, Niles! I don't know! You hit your head! You're on medication! Maybe you're crazy!'

He let his shoulders sag. 'No. It must have an explanation. And I must have it before we can… have it'.

Grace entered the kitchen. 'Hi, Niles! Hi, Miss Babcock! How was your day together?', she asked, taking a bottle of water from the fridge.

'Perfect', both answered, in unison, and looked at each other, surprised.

'Good', the girl answered, noticing their reactions and deciding to let it slide for now. 'Would you come with me, Niles? We could have that conversation, now'.

'My appointment?'

'Yeah'.

'Of course I'd love that, Miss Grace, but can we make it later? I really need to take a shower and rest, right now. It was a very long day'.

'Of course, we'll do it when you feel ready. Ah, and before I forget, the Police called this afternoon. They wanted you to know they caught the man who attacked you and they don't need your parole now. They have the cameras of the shop and other people to hear, while you recover of your head injury'.

'That's good news. Thank you!'

'Well, if you change your mind, I'll be in my room'. And the girl exited the kitchen.

There was a tense silence. Niles cleared his throat and was going to start thanking her for the day, when he noticed she was pale.

'What happened, Miss Babcock? Are you all right?'

'Oh, God. The man who hit you…'

'Yes, he is in jail'.

'He was still free these last days… and you were wandering around like there was no danger…'

'He was just a coward, Miss Babcock. He attacked me when he had a gun and for a futile reason, as I was told. I'm sure he would never come after me again'.

'You don't know that'.

'I can feel it'.

'Oh, yes, the same way you felt kissing me was wrong'.

Silence. CC didn't know why she had said it as if complaining. Niles seemed to be hurt.

'Miss Babcock, I'm confused. What are you feeling? Guilt?'

'Guilt? How would be that?'

'Well, you invited me to spend the day out of the house, with you. Maybe you regret it, because you could have exposed me to danger…'

'Oh, don't be stupid! Nanny Fine took you all the way to Queen's, yesterday, and I don't hear you mentioning it. She is the one who put you in danger, not me!'

His tone was sarcastic, now. 'So, you're going to pretend the only one who can be wrong in this lifetime is Miss Fine? You're absolutely perfect, even if you have just told me that my feelings of inadequacy over our kiss were just something the meds can do to my head?'

'You prefer to defend that fluzzy than hear what I have to say'.

His expression was pleading, now. 'What do you have to say, Miss Babcock?', he came closer to her. 'Please, help me to understand. My heart tells me one thing, but my head keeps sending me mysterious messages about it. What is it that separates us?'

CC looked at him. All she wanted was that he kissed her again, that same wild way; she didn't want to discuss things she didn't quite understand, and were already hurtful.

'I'm going to the office to talk to Maxwell. Maybe he needs me for something', she said and left before he could say anything.

In fact, Niles didn't know if there was something for him to say.

He was not sorry – he couldn't go against his feelings. He just wished he could understand what was happening, because it was making him crazy this routine of desiring and despising the same person all the time.

The worst part was he didn't knew clearly why he desired her, but could accept that, as he recognized her as woman above the average, intelligent and strong, features that always got him hooked on. However, he couldn't understand why this injured and old head kept sending alerts about her and hiding the reasons for those.

The kettle made the typical sound, and finally good news: he would have some time alone to sort some of these confusing feelings over a traditional cup of tea.


	9. I'll be watching you

_You know you take fan fiction seriously when you make research to be sure the song already existed when the series aired…_

**Amnesia**

**Chapter 9: I'll be watching you**

Life was about changes.

CC thought her life was difficult when the butler started insulting her, but Sarah made her see it could be funny.

When Sarah passed away and Niles started over-reacting and saying really bad things, Nanny Fine came into the scene and showed her they could fit together very well.

When she was accepting that she could see Niles as a man (he could be present in her fantasies as much as Maxwell), he lost his memory.

When she thought she would have a new opportunity to meet him and create a relationship, he kept remembering things about her and one of them was that being with her made him feel wrong…

Who was the Almighty Power that was personally interested in making her life unpredictable to the point of madness?

However, things could get worse.

The next day, for example, was torture to the highest points she could endure.

First thing, CC arrived at the mansion after breakfast time. She didn't want to risk another moment alone with Niles so early in the day.

Her plan was successful, and she was able to work silently in the office with Maxwell for… a lot of time, as it seemed.

Until she looked at her watch – it was one and a half hour after her arriving.

To her, it had seemed like an eternity. Maybe it was time to go to the kitchen… She needed her water, after all… And it wouldn't be bad to make sure Nanny Fine was not all over Niles, once she wasn't in the office for… so long.

CC entered the kitchen and stopped, glaring at the Nanny, who was seated at the table, alone, reading a magazine.

The brunette talked without turning to her. 'Stop the evil eye, Miss Babcock. I can feel it from here'.

Surprised, the socialite put her snob face on and went to the island. 'I don't know what you're wailing about'.

Fran got up, the magazine forgotten, an air of challenge all over her. 'There's no one wailing, here'.

'Uhm. You seem to have something to say to me'.

'Yes, I do'.

'You must be out of your mind'.

'But I didn't even say anything!'

'That's why. I'm surprised I'm not deaf already by your incessant chatting'.

'Ok, all right, no more jokes, now. I'm gonna say it once and for all, and I hope you got the idea, because it is very serious to me…'

'Now I recognize you. Go ahead'.

'I want to know what is it you're doing with Niles'.

'What?'

'You heard me, Miss Babcock. You've been all around him, then you said he shouldn't spend so much time with me, then you go taking him to the theater with you, then I see you kissing…'

'You saw us?!'

'… yes, did you think I was going to miss his face when you got back? He is my friend, I want to know if he is ok! But this is not the point. The point is…'

'Of course this is the point! I'm tired of you pretending you're all warm-hearted. All you really want is to get the attention of all the men of this house'.

'What do you mean? I really like Niles as if he was a brother!'

'Aw, dear Nanny Fine and her lovely intentions!', CC was mocking her bitterly. 'Don't think you can fool me! I noticed you flirting with Niles the first year you were here'.

'We never flirted. Yes, he was more… open about certain things than Mister Sheffield… We trusted each other from the beginning… But it was never serious! You'd be surprised by how folding underwear together can make people bond'.

'I don't believe you'.

'Miss Babcock, listen to me. We're not here discussing who will take Niles. I can see you think things in terms of possession, but I don't intend to have him as a man. I'm just worried by your advances'.

'Can't you see how incoherent you are? If you don't want him as a man, why do you care about my advances?'

'Because I've been in this house for four years, and all I've seen you two doing is fight! And now, out of the blue, you've decided to act like you were not just friends, but something more!'

CC calmed down a bit. 'You told me I worked well with Niles, don't you remember?

'Yes, and I still mean that. But things are different, now. He has no memory! How can you know you're not doing it all wrong?'

CC was silent for a moment. She didn't think of it before, and was not happy to think about it now, but had to concede. 'I see your point, now. However, maybe you should consider I've known him for fifteen years. I'm better judge to this case than you'.

Fran smiled at her. 'Miss Babcock… I know you care for him… Just think twice before you do something that can hurt him'.

'I wouldn't hurt him, Nanny Fine. I want him back as much as you do, but… maybe this is my opportunity to try to do things in a new way…'

'I understand, darling!' CC made a disgusted face she pretended not to see. 'Maybe I can help you!'

'I don't think I…'

'Don't be shy! Let's hear what they are saying'.

'Who?'

'Shush! Niles had just gone to the office when you arrived'. And with that, Fran turned on the intercom.

'_You know, Niles, we should think better'_.

'_What are you talking about? It's not like it is the first time we do it…'_

'_But it's so much time since we last did it…'_

'_Have you forgotten how it is done?'_

'_Very funny…'_

'_Oh, please, Maxwell… sir. It was as good for you as it was for me. Why not making a revival session?'_

'_I don't know… What about her?'_

'_She's a very open-minded woman…'_

'_I'm not sure of that…'_

'… _and reasonable. I'm sure she will understand'._

Fran and CC looked at each other, open-mouthed.

'_I don't know, Old Man…'_

'_Oh, please! Just once! I promise I will be quick. She doesn't even need to know'._

'_You always say that, but you keep it slow and enjoy it immensely. And you will tell her, as you have told Sarah!'_

'_You can't blame me. It's so rare you let me do it… and I was so excited with the results… I had to share!'_

'_Niles… I know you're really good. You have proven me that a lot of times. But we decided we wouldn't mix things again, don't you remember?'_

'_What I remember is Sarah saying she didn't mind. In fact, she approved of that'._

'_Sarah always had your abilities in the highest account. It made me jealous, sometimes'._

'_You shouldn't be. She was a very sweet woman, in fact, and she knew how to appreciate me, but her heart was all yours'._

The girls looked at each other again, and Fran mouthed, _Kinky!_

'_So… will you give it to me? Don't make me beg, man!'_

'_What if CC discovers? What will she think?'_

'_I'm sure she won't mind. Maybe she will even like the idea'. _

Silence. Maybe Maxwell was thinking… hard?

'_Oh, please, what are you afraid of? That I'll take the dominant role?'_

'_Don't be rude, Niles. You think it is just business, something you can make with no commitment, but to me there's a lot on stake'._

'_Who are you to talk about commitment? I'm here for less than a week and I can see that the only thing keeping you away from happiness is your own fear of compromising!' _

'_What are you talking about?'_

'_I'm talking about Miss Fine. You now, I have no memory, but I'm not blind. Sir'._

'_It's a low blow, Niles'._

'_I'm just trying to reassure you. You know I will be careful. Why not?'_

' _Let me think things over, Niles. It's not the kind of decision that should be taken under pressure'._

'_You know me, Maxwell… If you don't give it to me, maybe I'll just go there and take it'._

That was the moment when both the woman jolted from the kitchen and went running until they reached the office.

They opened the door ajar, and were panting.

They probably half expected to see two panting man, too.

Maxwell was seated at his desk, a manila folder on his hands. Niles was in front of him, his hands on the pockets of his trousers, an annoyed expression on his face.

'What was… I mean, what is going on here?', Fran asked, astonished.

'I just wanted to take a look at the contracts of the new show', Niles whined. 'I have a degree in law, and I miss the reading'.

'I knew you would blab!', Maxwell groaned.

'It's not like you have agreed on anything', Niles pouted.

'So, I was the open-minded and reasonable woman?', CC smiled at him.

'What?', Niles was confused.

'I think they were listening to us', Maxwell glared at Fran.

'I told her not to, but she would not turn off that thing!', Fran answered, a fake expression of indignation.

Niles understood what CC's question was about. 'Oh, yes, I was talking about you. I mean, you wouldn't mind if I checked it out, do you?'

Fran and CC looked at each other and burst out laughing.

The men were confused, and just kept looking. When they calmed down, Niles commented, 'I regret not knowing what made you have this fit, ladies, but I must say it is cute to see you sharing a private joke'. 

The word _private_ threw them out of it again.

'Well, Niles, I think we have nothing to do here. Let's go to the kitchen have some tea and see these contracts over'. Maxwell walked around Fran. 'Maybe I should just accept your hand on the business, after all'.

'You don't know the pleasure you give me just for hearing that'.

'The pleasure is mine, Niles. Come with me'.

At this point, Fran was supporting herself on the desk and CC had laid down on the green leather sofa.

ncncncncnc

After the trip to the ambiguous land, it seemed things were settled on: Fran Fine swore she would still take care of Niles, but she would give CC Babcock the space she needed to attempt a new relationship with him. They shook hands and departed with a truce on run.

Paying a visit to the kitchen in the afternoon, CC saw the duo of her nightmares spending time together, doing things and singing along to _Heartbreaker_, by Mariah Carrey.

Nanny Fine was folding some underwear (in fact, the pervert seemed to enjoy every minute of that), while Niles had his sleeves rolled up while he washed something in the kitchen sink. Fortunately, Niles made the most of the singing, while the brunette just hummed and kept moving her hips to the song.

Unfortunately, Niles had some moves of his own, too, and they were making CC stay still at the kitchen door, just watching the scene: his slight disheveled hair, the lather covering his hands and part of his muscled forearms…

Seeing her, Fran made a not so subtle roll of eyes and turned off the radio. 'Well, Niles, I will finish this upstairs'.

Niles turned to her. 'Oh, yes, thank you, Miss Fine'. The brunette disappeared from view and he turned to the blond. 'You didn't come for breakfast and was very silent during lunch'.

'What is it? Have you been watching the news channel?'

He smirked at her. 'That's the jolly mood I've learn to depend on', and resumes his task with whatever he was washing.

CC took a water bottle from the fridge and came to lean on the island. 'Well, it seems I have my song request fulfilled'.

Niles stopped, stared into space, frowned and recited: '_You realize, of course, that now I'm gonna have to kill you…_', he looked at her, 'It really happened?'

She bit her lower lip for a moment to not grin too widely. 'Yes, it did'.

'Wow', he smiled, a bit taken back by the memory. He shook his head to be back to reality. 'Why would you ask for a song called _Heartbreaker_?'

'I wouldn't, but I thought it was appropriated – if your reaction to our kiss yesterday is a reliable indication, one of us should take care'.

He looked at her, a sad look on his face. 'I would do anything to change how I felt', he said, 'but I can't'.

CC let go of the bottle, went around the island and got very close to him. 'Don't be like that. The song is appropriated for also another reason'.

'Which is…?', his eyes were travelling down to her curves and back to her face in a quick movement that showed how affected by her proximity he was.

'The beat is sexy', she answered, her hand on his chest, carefully avoiding his hands and the part of his arms that were wet.

Niles gulped. 'This time, _almost_ a sensorial overload…'

'How is it, now?'

'I can't touch you with my hands, or I'll ruin your clothes. So, I must rely on what you decide to do… And enjoy what I can see – the curves of your body – and what I can smell – your perfume…'

'I can touch you to provide what is lacking. What do you think I should do?'

'The possibilities are making me dizzy'.

'Should I stop? After all, I make you feel dizzy and wrong…'

'Let's try again', he moaned.

'The kiss?'

His eyes were pleading.

'I don't know if we should…'

'Please…'

CC licked her lips, got closer again, their noses almost touching. Niles kept his arms open, to not risk touching her.

'Again, you're enjoying my dominating side…'

'So it seems…'

'Let's see if it works, Butler Boy'.

She touched his body with hers, what made very difficult for him to keep his hands far from her. However, to not stain her clothes, he had to open widely his arms, what gave her free access to all of him.

It was not such a bad situation, after all.

In fact, Niles noticed he found her pressing against him and taking all the initiative as a big turn on.

She put her cheek on his, enjoying the closeness. It was good to have him at her mercy, trying to stay motionless while she decided what to do.

The sensorial overload was working for her, too: he had an amazing smell, his skin was smooth, his body hot, his blue eyes were full of desire for her and his lips…

Uhm… good idea! The lips!

She touched his lips with hers, very slow and softly. She expected he would open his mouth and take her passionately, as he had made yesterday, but he didn't. He just kept waiting.

CC understood she had to claim him, this time. And that the realization was arousing her immensely.

If the game was so delicious, why do it quickly?

She traced his lower lip with her tongue, what made him shiver.

Then she created some distance between their faces, so she could look him in the eye.

Almost desperate. Good.

CC inclined her head and, while exploring his back and shoulders with her hands, made a path of wet kisses from his cheek to his ear, and then to his jaw, and then with a hand she caressed his nape, what made him moan and tremble as if he was going to come right there on the spot.

Suddenly, her grip was stronger on his ass and on his nape. She noticed how his eyes closed in pleasure and then opened to look intensely into hers. _Maybe Nanny Fine is right – it is about possession._

Again, CC put her lips on his, enjoying the sensation of power he was giving her. She, again, tested him with her tongue, and when she made the slightest of pressures, just enough for him to know it was time for something more…

…the intercom buzzed and the producer's voice sounded. '_Niles? Are you in there?_'

Both moaned in frustration. '_Almost_ there', CC murmured.

'God, it is like the dream I had last night…'

She looked at him, smirking, 'You've been dreaming of it? How obsessed…'

CC let go of him, so he was able to take a towel, wash his hands and walk funny to the intercom. 'Yes, sir, I'm here'.

'_Oh, good. Will you please bring me something to munch on?'_

'Yes, sir'.

'_Thank you, Old Man'._

Niles turned the intercom off and turned to CC. 'For now you're free, but I have something to tell you, before you go'.

She smirked at his still obviously aroused tone. 'I know your secret. You have no power over me'.

'It was no secret I've been dreaming about you', he dismissed the idea with a nonchalant wave of hand. 'It's another thing'.

'Tell me', she said, putting the bottle on the side of her neck, to cool her at least to the point of dignity.

He seemed to find the vision of a hot CC too disturbing, because he was at a lack of words for some moments. Then, he breathed deeply and said, 'I have chosen a song for you. And it was not _Heartbreaker_'.

She just kept looking at him.

'I'm in no condition of singing, right now', they smiled a bit shyly at each other, 'but I wanted you to know that it has some lyrics I find deeply connected to us. I don't even know why, it's just how I feel'.

'I hope it is not a sailor's song'.

Niles frowned and looked at her, 'No, I'm serious. I've heard it and then I thought… _This is how I feel…_ Even if I don't know why'.

'You don't seem very happy about that'.

Niles had, really, a kind of tender-pained look on his face. He got closer to her and put his hand on her cheek. 'Every breath you take, every move you make, every bond you brake, every step you take…', he saw she leaned on his caress, and felt again how the song was right for them, 'I'll be watching you'.

'This is not so bad, Niles', CC said, enjoying the feeling of his hands.

'Don't you think it is odd… I mean, the part about breaking bonds…?'

'It is just a song'.

Niles shook his head, not agreeing at all but making clear they were not discussing it now. His hand descended to her neck and made her close her eyes in pleasure. 'Every single day, every word you say, every game you play, every night you stay… I'll be watching you'.

'Uhm… That's really us, you know?', she murmured, 'We play games and sometimes I stay longer than I must… Sometimes I stay the night… And you always make sure I'm all right'.

Niles shook his head again, because he had a bad feeling that the games were not just for him, and that his care for her was not that appreciated… And he felt an invisible hand squeezing his heart when he said, 'Can't you see? You belong to me… How my poor heart aches… every step you take…'

She opened her eyes, realizing the lyrics were not from a happy love song.

He took off his hand from her, even if he was regretting it the moment he did it. 'I'm sorry. I just wanted you to know I keep listening to it in my head and… '

'_What are taking you so long?'_

CC looked at the intercom when she heard Maxwell's voice; Niles just kept his eyes on her, and murmured 'That's exactly what I wanted to know'.

Again, CC found herself with no answer to the question she saw in his eyes, so she simply turned and fled from the kitchen, thanking the Almighty Power that had some mercy and prevented her from hearing the next part of the lyrics...

_Every move you make  
Every vow you break  
Every smile you fake  
Every claim you stake  
I'll be watching you_

_Since you've gone I've been lost without a trace  
I dream at night I can only see your face  
I look around, but it's you I can't replace  
I feel so cold and I long for your embrace  
I keep crying baby, baby, please_

Because it would surely make her cry to see him say these truly things about them – things he was going to remember, sooner or later.


	10. When the world falls down

**_Thank you for the reviews, people. They feed my muse._  
**

**Chapter 10: When the world falls down**

Niles made a sandwich for his boss and, in an amazing 'coincidence', Fran came back to the kitchen once Miss Babcock was out.

The Nanny didn't comment on what she had been eavesdropping, but offered to take the sandwich and the tea to the office. For these things (the small talk she provided and the offer) he was thankful: he needed some moments alone to think things over, and she was sensitive enough to notice this without him saying the words.

(_Sensitive: bad word to think when you're trying to calm down after a person you wants badly had her tongue in your skin…_)

He went to the fridge, chose a dessert he had made while waiting for the lunch to get ready, cut a piece, put it on a plate and sit at the table again in order to eat and think – for this practice he was in debt with Miss Fine, because it really worked well.

And, when it didn't work, there was always the food.

Niles' first thoughts were about how Miss Babcock, no matter the situation, was always trying to prove him how amazing she could be: she was good at ordering people around, she could entertain him for a whole day, she would realize Miss Fine's antics and open his eyes to them before any other person...

(_And she was good at touching him, too… Too damn good…_)

Suddenly, it was obvious to him that she made a great effort to show how Miss Fine was not such a wonderful person as everybody seemed to think – and this was something to ponder with attention.

Why was Miss Babcock so worried about the Jewish woman?

Niles liked Fran, but he had already made clear to the blond it was nothing romantic or sexual... What was making her work so hard, then?

(_Hard… God, he really had to take his mind out of the gutter…_)

Would CC Babcock, that powerful woman who was able to reduce him to a dummy just by touching him like she had done some moments ago, be jealous of him and Fran?

The idea seemed crazy, but strangely familiar. He couldn't pinpoint what was familiar in it, but something surely was, and made him uncomfortable.

Niles sighed: he couldn't believe that in fifteen years he had turned into a stupid man that couldn't give the reassurance his woman needed. If it was jealousy, why hadn't he dealt with her insecurities, yet? What was he waiting for?

And should he act now, even if he didn't quite understand the situation?

His musings were interrupted by the intercom.

Niles guessed that someone must have accidentally knocked it on, because there were voices, but no one was calling him.

'_It's not fair!'_, Fran's voice whined, _'Why can't I go?'_

'_Because it is an important event, Nanny Fine. We can't risk you messing things up'_, the blonde's voice was heard_._

God, he loved her voice, specially that low tone she used to put people down… It was a bit sick, but he couldn't stop the feeling that she was different from everybody else, in a way that he was the only one able to appreciate.

It was a good way of starting his mission _Reassuring CC_ – he would show her there were some things about her almost everybody disliked and he adored.

Niles stood up and turned the intercom off. There was no way he would be in the kitchen listening to them, when he could simply go to the office and watch things live.

Rejoicing with anticipation but in no hurry, he took his plate and fork from the table, washed them, dried his hands, put the chair he had used on place and went to the office, not before taking a last look at the kitchen to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything out of place.

In his way to the office Niles tried to picture the happiness on that woman's face when he showed her how special she was to him.

He must be really slow, if it took him fifteen years and a bump in the head to decide for this course of action.

Remembering the bump, Niles made a face – even now, in the kitchen, his mind many years younger, he still hesitated. Of course an older version of him would not act on his feelings.

Maybe this memory loss was a blessing, after all, even if he didn't have a time machine and couldn't change the past. This could be his opportunity to show people he had more to offer then his hard work.

(_Not a good moment to have this line of thought again, Old Man…_)

Arriving in the office with a smile on his face, Niles was surprised to notice that everybody was distressed and stopped talking when he entered.

'What?', he asked, confused, looking around.

Maxwell was seated at his desk, and seemed regretful; CC was looking at the posters on the walls, as if she was hiding and Fran had her hands on her hips, the image of annoyance.

'You must get back, Mister, and soon!', Fran came to him and swatted his arm.

'Ouch! What did I do?'

'Nothing – and that is the problem!', she turned to their boss. 'Tell him your decision'.

'Miss Fine', Maxwell started, and he really seemed almost ashamed, 'I don't know why the big deal. I was just saying that CC is right: this time, it's better if you two don't go with us'. The _you two _being, by the direction of his wave, the Butler and the Nanny.

'Go where?', Niles inquired Maxwell, looking at CC, who seemed very interested in the patterns of the carpet, now.

'A fancy party', Fran answered.

'It's a very important party', Maxwell cut in, correcting her. 'A benefit, in fact, with a lot of potential backers for our next play'.

'We always go with you!', Fran whined and turned to Niles. 'And you know why this time is different?', she turned to CC, 'because _she _convinced', she turned to Maxwell, '_him_', and then turned to Niles again, 'and _you_ didn't say a word!'.

'How was I supposed to say anything? I was in the kitchen!', then he realized, 'Oh, it was you who…'

'Let's focus here, Niles', Fran warned him to not blab about the intercom.

The blond decided to interfere, still not looking at anyone. 'Nanny Fine, stop bothering him. He won't take sides, this time'.

'How strange you're saying this, Miss Babcock', Fran squinted at her, 'Won't you even hear what he has to say?'

_Oh, _Niles thought, _this _he _is me?_

'Miss Fine… I can understand what CC is pointing at', Maxwell stood up to defend his business associate, who seemed strangely defensive, 'Usually, Niles doesn't help in this discussions…'

This was not a good argument to Niles. 'In fact, things have changed a bit, Sir. I have a bunch of contracts to revise, what already is interfering; maybe I should be heard on other matters related to business'.

'Goooood!', Fran praised, happy he had came, after all. Even a Niles with no memory was better than no Niles at all in this zone of war.

'All right, all right!', CC yelled, her disposition to not let the darned situation get to her running out quickly. 'I just thought it was better if he stayed out of… an entire evening of activity. It may be too much for him to go… all through the night…'

That provoked an awkward silence.

'I take it you don't believe in people going all through the night with just one person?'

That intensified the awkward silence.

'Niles, that was uncalled for', Maxwell said, his tone aghast.

'Sorry, I still don't know where it comes from', Niles answered, looking apologetically to CC.

She ignored him and kept looking at her partner. 'Well, I'm not against him going to the party. I just don't think something is right just because Nanny Fine suggested it'.

'In this case', Maxwell said quickly, anxious to end the discussion and relieved by the surprising resignation on CC's voice, 'there is no problem anymore. The four of us are going. I'll take Miss Fine, as usual, and CC takes Niles. Be prepared, Old Man: the party is tomorrow night'.

Fran jumped in happiness, and Niles found it strange not just that CC had an unhappy face, but that she still couldn't look him in the eye.

For God' sake: the woman wasn't able to even say his name out loud… What was happening?!

Fran took him unceremoniously out of the office, blabbing about seeing if he had something to wear to such an event.

They went up the stairs almost running. Niles wanted to ask Fran why she had threw a venomous glare into the blonde's direction before leaving, but things were all so intriguing (Fran was not saying a word!), he decided to wait until they reached his room.

Once there, she closed the door and pointed a finger at him. 'Listen here, Mister: when the intercom miraculously goes on, you don't doubt the power of God. You listen to what it has to say to you!'

'But Miss Fine…', he started, but she was already inside his closet, analyzing his clothes and talking non-stop.

'I had not realized how important your presence in that office is, Niles! I mean, I can't manage those things alone! When I saw, things were being settled, he talked, and then she talked, and it was time for your lines, and they never came, because you were not there pretending you were dusting!'

'Miss Fine…', he tried again, but she was taking a shirt and a suit and putting on his bed, without even looking at him.

'You should see how it was: she was giving the terrible ideas, and he would follow them without even thinking! And you know, this girl here has not your quick wit'. She stopped with two ties in her hands and waited for him to point one, 'I was really naïve for trusting that gentile. In the first opportunity she tried to take advantage of it'.

Niles pointed the tie he preferred, Fran nodded at his choice, put it on the bed with the rest of the clothes and finally turned to him. 'What do you think?'

The butler looked at the clothes and liked the effect. It was a combination of blue and back that probably suited him very well. 'I agree with it'.

'I know, sweety, I know', Fran said, hugging him briefly. 'Don't worry: we'll make it better!'

And with that she stormed out of the room without giving him any chance to ask any thing.

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Niles decided to spend the next day reading the contracts he had taken from Maxwell and making notes. He had some questions, and it was hard to decide if he preferred to ask them to Maxwell or wait until CC was back from the theater to have a legitimate reason to talk to her, once she had gone there without even coming to the house in the morning.

The blond called in the middle of the afternoon, to Maxwell business line that went directly to the office, and said she would go home earlier to get prepared for the party. She also informed her partner that she would come to the mansion later, so the four of them could go together in the limo.

Niles was finding it all a bit strange: yesterday they seemed so close in the kitchen, even after he had said that thing about kissing her, and now they had that absurd scene in the office, and she trying to avoid the mansion – and him, obviously.

While he prepared for the party he was very confused: should he be happy to be her escort in a party? Or should he be prepared to discover something bad about her tonight, once she didn't want him to attend?

He wished he could ask Fran for information, but the Nanny was so crazy about the party and the little details of her own production he didn't have the guts to bring her attention to his own confused thoughts.

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When you think things can't get more confusing, it is a signal they are going to be more confusing.

Niles was seated at their table in the party. They had arrived after a limo riding from hell: CC was beautiful, dressed in a long navy blue dress that brought her curves out, her hair flowing around her face and slightly curled…

… and looking through the window all the time.

Fran and Maxwell were chatting about everything and nothing in special, what showed Niles how happy they were together, and made him wonder why certain situations seemed to make CC unhappy.

He wished he could know what was making her feel sad now, because his deepest desire was to see her happy, and it was obvious their little games or even his silent presence were not enough.

She didn't seem to be used to rely on him when she needed comfort. It was unsettling, because he thought it should be clear he was there for her… Even if he didn't have the opportunity to show her the new attitude he had decided to adopt since yesterday.

He was aware he had messed things a bit when he proffered that retort in the office, but she didn't seem to take it to heart. Her strangeness was there when he arrived, anyway, it was not his fault.

Knowing he was not the one to blame for her blue feelings didn't help. He wanted to know what was, so he could help.

The only hypothesis he could come with was the one he had yesterday: maybe she was insecure because of Fran.

It made sense, in some way: she would prefer Fran out of the parties because she felt like she was not as beautiful or funny, and it made her hurt. It was easier to hide it if she said she preferred just her and Maxwell to attend.

Niles' heart felt small, suddenly remembering little things he knew about CC Babcock: how she was unhappy as a child, how shy she was when she arrived at the Sheffields, how alone she seemed when Sarah died…

For the first time, he remembered the night Sarah died, and that was his time to turn to the window closer to him and try to concentrate on New York night lights. There was something about the tragedy that disturbed him: it was like her death had made everything wrong.

_Of course, it had. She had three children and a loving husband… You would be very insensitive if you couldn't sympathize…_, Niles admonished himself.

But there was something more. Something he, again, couldn't pinpoint for the entire ride.

Now he was at the table, alone, while Maxwell and CC were going from a side to the other of the ballroom, making connections, faking laughs and giving friendly pats in the backs of other millionaires.

Fran came from the buffet, a full plate on her hand.

'What did I loose?', she asked, sitting by him as if they were watching a soap.

'They changed victims', he pointed with his chin to the business partners. 'The previous ones didn't seem very interested, then they just greeted them and went away'.

'Sometimes I think they can smell money', Fran commented, her mouth full of shrimp.

'This is boring', Niles confessed, after some more observation. 'Why did you insist in coming?'

'Usually it is not boring'.

'I wonder how this is possible…'

'What do you mean?'

'Nothing happens. They walk, they chat, they come to eat and drink, they walk again… It's just business and business!'

'Oh, it's not!', Fran wavered her hand, 'When they get boring like this, you usually do something'.

'How so?'

'You make zingers at Miss Babcock's expense until she starts answering you. Then, Mr. Sheffield, to run away from you two, usually asks me to dance'.

'Really? It is interesting. And then, what happens?'. It was better than a soap, in fact.

'Well… It's me and Mister Sheffield to the dance floor, in the beginning, but soon, I don't know how you manage from fighting to dancing, it's you and Miss Babcock… Sometimes we exchange partners, but we usually don't'.

'Why?'

Fran put a hand dramatically on his arm and pointed a finger. 'Behold'.

Niles follows the imaginary line of her pointing finger, and freezes.

There they were, Maxwell Sheffield and CC Babcock, on the dance floor, waltzing and chatting happily.

The way she seemed relaxed on his arms made something break inside Niles. All of his impressions from the night – her sadness, her discomfort, her insecurity, all he had pictured in his head and dedicated to analyze with care – were over, now. She was the image of success and contentment.

'Are you ok, sweety? You're pale', Fran's voice seemed to come from a great distance.

'What… Why are they…?', he could barely form the words.

'Dancing?'

'Happy!'

Their eyes locked for a moment and Fran frowned at him. 'They're partners, Niles. I don't like it either, but we can't simply go there and separate them'. He turned away and she looked at him with curiosity. 'Can we?'

'That's what I have in mind', he said between gritted teeth, his eyes sending daggers through the room.

'It would be new…'

'Let's go there', he said, already standing.

'All right!', she agreed, excited. Niles' plans were always perfect. She had no reason to think this one was not going to work.

They reached the couple, who was still obvious to them.

Niles put a hand on Maxwell's shoulder. 'May I?'

Maxwell looked at his butler and was surprised by the amount of… what was that on his face? Angriness? Disgust? 'Oh, of course, Old Man', and he happily went to Fran's arms, glad to be out of the butler's sight for the time being. He preferred not to be involved with what he didn't understand.

Niles couldn't help but register the look CC threw Maxwell when the producer went away.

She seemed lost and longing.

So, she was not jealous of Fran with him, Niles.

It was all about Fran and… Maxwell.

Niles stood there, without moving, surprised by the revelation, and too shocked to react.

Then CC seemed to recover from the novelty of the situation and pretended nothing had happened, coming into his arms and starting some dance moves.

He followed her rhythm, but couldn't stop his mind from reeling. There was fragmented scenes surfacing and submerging again too quickly from him to grasp them.

All he could understand was that they all involved this woman in his arms, his boss and him feeling bad for himself.

Like he did right now.

CC brought her body closer to his, and Niles first thought was that she was doing this to get over her own pain on seeing Maxwell enjoying his time with another woman…

And the sudden realization that it made Niles her second option made him sick.

He couldn't take it anymore.

Niles stopped moving and gave a step back, to put some distance between them. 'I'm sorry… I…', he couldn't find the words.

'What's happening, Niles? Are you feeling sick?'

Yes, he was. And even more now, seeing her worried face and knowing he had her attention just because he was the only one left…

'Niles?', she insisted, her eyes searching his face.

'I… have to go'. And with that he disappeared from view.

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It was the worst night of his life.

Well, of the life he could remember.

Niles had taken a taxi after letting a message with one of the patrons of the party, and went to his room in the mansion.

The message made sure people should enjoy the rest of the party – he was just tired and decided to go home earlier.

He needed to think.

There was something very, very wrong with his life.

What he had seen in the party was clear enough: CC maybe wanted him, Niles, as a man. But the chosen one was Maxwell Sheffield.

When he reached his room he felt really sick, and had to run to the bathroom to throw up.

He washed his face and brushed his teeth, all the time trying to calm himself: _You're getting it all wrong. It must have another explanation. She was with you, yesterday. That was not a lie. There is something you are not seeing._

Niles seated on his bed and tried deep breaths, but they didn't calm him as he needed to stop the nausea and clear his mind.

He stood and decided to go to the kitchen.

He descended the back stairs, made a glass of hot tea to calm his nerves and supported himself on the island to sip it.

And his eyes were suddenly on the intercom.

It gave him the sensation he should use it to discover the piece was missing in this puzzle. It was not like he had never done that – he was proud of being more than a butler to this family, and to excel at that he should be more informed than they would ever let him be by their free will.

Fran Fine had even put it on, yesterday, for him to remember he needed to know everything, and could do it through this machine.

He smiled at the idea and pushed the button, just to be sure it was a familiar gesture.

The voices from the office came clear, startling him.

'_I insist, CC – you're overreacting over this'._

'_I'm not, Maxwell. I have already told you before: if you let that woman take care of things, she will blow up everything!'_

Which woman would that be that they had to discuss at this unholy hour?

'_Miss Fine has good intentions. Sometimes she can be a bit daring…'_

'… _and reckless, and irresponsible, and incapable…'_

Oh, it's Fran.

'_I don't see her like you do'._

'_Of course, not. You're thinking with your little producer again'._

'_CC!'_

Niles had a half smile on his face at that. He found the tirade funny, but for some reason, it was disturbing to him. Maybe he was very near to understand what was wrong.

'_I'm tired of it, Maxwell. You let her do what she wants, and you pretend she is always right!'_

Niles understood her anger: she was intelligent and refined – how could Maxwell trust his Nanny more than CC Babcock?

He was curious: what were they talking about? What could have happened to put the blond in such an aggravated state of mind?

He smiled, hoping for a moment that CC was fighting Maxwell for his safety… It would be very sweet of her, scold people because they had insisted on him going to a party that had made him sick…

'_I can't understand why it is so important to you, CC'._

'_You're really blind, aren't you?'_

'_I beg your pardon?'_

'_She is seducing you, Maxwell! For God' sake, she is using those short skirts and high heels because she wants you! And she will do everything to make you think she is perfect while I am a monster!'_

'_That's preposterous, CC. She would never say a bad word about anyone…'_

'_See what I mean? She is not here, but she is pulling the strings… What kind of power does she have over you?'_

'_We have a… very nice and friendly relationship. I trust her with my children'._

'_These children I have told you I preferred sent to Boarding School? The ones that shouldn't be here, so, we shouldn't need a nanny? And then we two could have a little more peace to work on our relationship, as I have insisted for all those years?'_

Silence. Niles supported himself on the wall.

'_Our relationship is great the way it is, CC. We are great business partners, we are successful working together and that's what really matters'._

'_Ugh! You're infuriating!'_

Niles heard her steps heading off the office and made an effort to climb the back stairs, even if he was a bit dizzy from what he had heard, and with a feeling he couldn't quite understand yet.

Again, it was like he had reached a point where the memories would not be just triggered, but organized and clarified. He must seize it – this time, he must reach the point of no return.


	11. A thread of Grace

**Amnesia 11: A Thread of Grace**

Niles reached his room, entered, locked the door and sit on his bed.

He concentrated on his feelings. What were them?

In the beginning of his listening, he was happy just for hearing CC's voice.

Then, he was overjoyed with the idea she was trying to protect him from what she thought was Miss Fine's lack of attention.

But then, his name was never said. In fact, the more CC got hot in the argument, the more her words were about…

Maxwell.

That pain was back. Something was wrong… what was that?

Niles laid down and tried to clear his mind. He let the thoughts flow free, hoping they would bring what he needed desperately to understand.

The first thing that came to his mind was him there, close to the intercom, in other occasions. Situations when he would recognize something dangerous happening in the office and then run to save… who? Maxwell? CC? Miss Fine? Himself?

Suddenly, he got it. It was all of them. He always ran to save them all from what he felt was a terrible fate: the possibility of wrong… arrangements.

He remembered each time he had interrupted her tentative moves on Maxwell, after Sarah died; he remembered how he started insulting her, just to show her how sensible and clever he was.

He remembered Miss Fine arriving in the house and the feeling he had, the moment he first saw her, that she could bring some light to their lives. He remembered how he detected the chemistry between her and Maxwell, and the moment he decided she was perfect to take Maxwell from CC's reach definitively.

He closed his eyes and put his hands on his face: there was a flood of memories, all of them showing him how CC Babcock was not reliable, how many misconceptions she had about Niles' background and capacities, how hurtful she was to him – for the simple fact she made clear the perfect man for her was not him.

It was Maxwell – the rich and handsome Broadway producer.

Now he remembered why he had stayed in this house: because he hoped she would change her mind.

His head hurt – not because of the memories that were back all at once, but because his own thoughts about his inadequacy were back with them, making him hurt at each scene that was back.

Niles felt like there were two men inside his head.

One man was 30 years old, had met an amazing woman, knew she was interested in him and was full of hope he could conquer her – it was just a matter of time.

The other guy was 45, already knew and had loved this woman for years, and had to learn how to live with the pain of knowing he would always be her second best – the one she used to find her balance when the chosen one would frustrate her over the limits; the one she would pick to an event because her first choice had picked other woman; the one she would see always as a witty mind in a poor man.

Now it was clear: he couldn't go away because he loved her, and also couldn't let her have another man, specially a friend of him – one he knew very well and was sure would make her unhappy…

But Niles couldn't make a move towards her, either, even if he could sense her desire for him, because deep inside he was sure she would never be really his.

That's why it felt wrong to accept her desire: because he wanted her love, not her desire.

Niles' way of loving her was related to deep respect for her options in life, admiration for her strength, pleasure beyond physical desire. And he knew – the feelings had tried to warn him, now the memories told it clearly – she would never be able to feel like this about him.

Overwhelmed by the epiphany, Niles started crying and didn't stop until sleep relieved him.

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CC reached the kitchen angrier with herself than with Maxwell.

She started that conversation because she wanted very much to yell about Nanny Fine and how irresponsible she had been with Niles.

She was not furious about everything, at that point.

And then Maxwell was being defensive, ordered the Nanny to go directly to her room and soon CC was saying more than she wanted, because Nanny Fine was not there and Niles would not come to the office and interrupt them, saying nasty things to her.

Now she realized his and her interruptions were important: she was able to talk stupid things, without them. She was again trying to make Maxwell look at her as a woman, just keeping that old act, without noticing it didn't make sense when there was no one to contradict her.

She missed Niles' witty remarks. They put her on place when she needed.

When she saw the kitchen empty she wondered if Niles had gone directly to his room, took a shower and laid, exhausted by the party.

The idea of him all clean, smelling good and sleeping peacefully made her calm down and smile.

Maybe she should go there and… see how he was? Just to make sure he was ok… Give him a hug for coming home without disturbing them… and a good night kiss… and…

CC sighed. It seemed more like her, to have thoughts about Niles that progressed quickly from sweet to dirty. She already accepted Niles was more fun than Maxwell, after all.

What got into her in the office?! Was the habit of Niles eavesdropping to get his clue and enter the room at the right moment so strong that she was still acting like he would do it, even if he had no memory?

The thought made her look at the intercom and she noticed that the light was on, and that there was a mug almost full forgotten on the table.

It meant Niles was eavesdropping… and had gone away from the kitchen…

He had heard them. He had heard her…

She went pale. That was bad.

There was only one way to solve it.

Therapy!

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CC knocked on Grace's door half expecting the girl to appear and yell something along the lines of _'Get out of here! He told me what you've done and now I have work to do!'_

However, the girl just opened the door and said, a bit surprised, 'Hi, Miss Babcock. Do you need something?'

CC pouted. 'I know it's very late, but I think I messed up everything with Niles…'

'Come in!'

She entered, Gracie closed the door and made CC lay down on her bed, while she seated on a comfy chair besides her. 'Tell me what happened'.

'We were in a party, we were dancing, me and Maxwell… I have been waiting for Niles to take me to the dance floor all night, and he finally did it, and I was talking to Maxwell about a plan to captivate a difficult backer, but I let it go, because now I was with Niles... And suddenly that damn butler got all strange and said he had to go… I mean, our relationship has been improving since he lost his memory, but there is a point we reached… and from this on, he seems to be afraid of me!', CC sit up and faced Grace. 'He was never afraid of me, and I don't know what to do with him now!'

'Calm down, dear', Grace said, her voice full of wisdom. 'Let's go slow. If you wanted to dance with him, why hadn't you simply told him?'

'Isn't it obvious that I like to dance with him? I mean, we do it every time we can!'

'He has no memory, Miss Babcock…'

'His feelings tell him to come to me! He told me that! Why is it he keeps running away?'

'You say he fears you. Let's think together: what have you done to reassure him that you reciprocate his feelings? He probably wanted to dance with you, but he waited until he felt the moment was right'.

'Yes! Then why did he go away, if the moment was right?'

'Describe to me what happened when he came to you. Where were you?'

CC concentrated, trying to remember the details. 'I was dancing with Maxwell… Then Niles arrived and tapped him in the shoulder… Maxwell went to Nanny Fine… I tried to call him to say we had to talk later…', CC's voice became weak, 'but I gave up…'

'I see you realized you didn't seem exactly in awe by Niles' presence… Knowing you and your standard reactions, I would be very insecure about how happy you really were, if I was him. I mean, he waited until that moment, and the first thing he sees is you trying to reach for your business partner…'

'But I am a business woman! I had things to discuss with Maxwell!'

'Oh, yes. Niles would surely understand that you still had your head on your business partner when you were already in his arms. He has all of his memories of you to make him get correctly what was going on'.

The blond laughed at that. 'Oh, God, if he had any memory he surely would NOT understand…'.CC put a hand on her mouth. 'Oh, God… He must have thought I didn't want him there…'. For some moments, she was too taken aback to say anything. Then, she looked at Grace with despair. 'What can I do, now? He may think I was lying to him all the time we were together… How stupid can I be?!'

'Calm down, Miss Babcock. I'm sure all Niles need is your sincerity, and he will believe you'. Grace took CC's hand and looked her in the eye. 'Do you think you can give it to him?'

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Grace was ready to be a typical therapist: she found the right point, twisted the knife and declared that the session was over.

CC now was seated on the back stairs, alone, for what seemed a lifetime, trying to decide what to do.

The fact was she didn't know what she had to say to Niles, if she had to use her sincerity… It was not exactly her strongest feat, after all.

But maybe the novelty of the situation was what should guide her: he didn't have any coherent memories, what was an unique situation, and maybe it was a sign it was time for her to recognize the right thing to do.

It was one of these moments in life when a person must face her most terrible fears and do what was necessary to be happy. Because, deep down her soul, in the darkest recesses of her mind, in the most profound of her heart… she already knew what she felt for Niles and what she had to tell him.

First step, given: she was ready to admit she had feelings for that damned man.

Second step, in progress: she decided to talk to him as soon as possible.

Third step, to do right now: breath deeply, calm herself and go to his room to speak her heart, maybe for the first time, openly at him.

For the first time in her life she had a genuine feeling that, no matter what, there was someone who was worth her effort to be a better person.

And this someone was just some steps from her, probably having a difficult time, trying to sleep while his mind races to understand what is happening.

CC got up and started to his room.

She wondered what he was wearing. Would he be decent? Maybe she should knock on his door and wait for him to open it…

Or maybe it would be better to try and open it – she could wake him up with a kiss, and it could make things easier…

CC smiled: from sweet to dirty in seconds. No man had never made her feel like this before…

She stopped and facepalmed: all she needed, right now, was this kind of realization!


	12. The opening night

_**Thank you very much for the reviews, people, and sorry for the delay! **_

**Amnesia **

**Chapter 12: The opening night**

CC entered Niles' room trying not to wake him. She wanted to seize the opportunity he had given her, not locking his door, to get closer and discover the best way to deal with the situation.

(She noticed the metaphor, in here: the fact he was there, vulnerable in his sleep, probably sad about what he had heard her say, but even so, without locking her away).

She closed the door delicately and locked it.

(CC Babcock was not known for sharing).

She sat on the bed and looked at him.

It was clear he was upset, by the lines on his face. He was laying on his stomach, the face on the pillow showing signs of distress.

_A sad angel must be like this_, she caught herself thinking and having to fight an urge to caress his hair, kiss his forehead and start an _undoing the sadness _process. Their relationship never involved angelic things, she had to admit, but some tenderness could help them now.

CC decided to take a light approach: she circled the bed, took off her shoes and coat and laid there, snuggling to him under the covers, her arm circling his waist, her head on his back. It was almost comfortable to lay there with him, even if she still had her gown on. At least, it was sleeveless, what gave her some of the mobility she needed to involve his body with hers.

She felt him wake up and tense.

It was a quick decision murmuring softly in his ear before he could send her away. 'I hope you don't mind. I came to see how you were feeling'.

Silence. CC waited patiently for him to answer, attentively listening to his breathing and trying to guess what was happening inside his mind. She knew her 'feeling' talking had a risky double meaning, but she needed to know where they were standing, so she wouldn't mess things up even more than she already have.

His voice sounded tired. 'If you're looking for the hot water bottle, that's not it'.

CC frowned. When did it happen? That phrase seemed familiar…

Oh, that time… she would spend the weekend with the senator… and then they got lost on the way to the airport… and they had to spend the night at the Fine's… she went for Maxwell and found Niles… His scent was great, his body everything she had dreamed of… Even more after she saw him wearing that '_world's greatest lover_' t-shirt Sylvia lent him – she loved men that could be funny and sexy at the same time…

(And now she realizes he is the only man she knew that could be both things… Uhmmm…)

But she couldn't stay with him that night… she would never confess her desire for him… specially after he said that same phrase… It would be too humiliating, once she was looking for Maxwell and Niles knew that…

That's why she just got up and went away, that time: he had her there, within his reach, and he decided to stop her, without even considering to offer her something different.

But why would he remember this now? Would it be because he had heard her, earlier in the office, talk about how people didn't help her to get closer to Maxwell? Would he relate what he heard with her usual stupid moves on her business partner?

_Ugh_, CC thought, and flinched as she used to do when she realized she had said or done something really stupid.

The blond wanted to look the butler in the eye, but she didn't dare to put some distance between them, so afraid she was he could think she would go away like she did that night. She just snuggled closer. 'I brought you a bad memory…', she said, letting her tone show the regret she was feeling.

'You brought all off my memories back', he answered, resignation soaking every word.

CC froze. It meant… she was in bed with _her _Niles…

Thank God, he was cured, and she was the one who did it!

She held her breath: if he remembered everything (who he was, who she was, who they were to each other – not just in these days since the robbery, but all that made them who they were), he had all the memories about her back, and he chose a bad one to tell her this.

The joy soon was replaced by panic: it meant she didn't make him feel happy.

But what was the surprise? She never made anything to make him happy. He was always saying witty things to her, cheering her up, making her feel alive and, sometimes, even appreciated; what had she done to repay him? Some good jokes and pranks of her own, but always belittling him!

And to top a life of mistakes, she repeated an action that had gone wrong with him once.

CC sighed. 'I don't know if you'll believe me, but I wish I could make things different'. She was caressing his back without realizing it. 'I wish I could make things better for us'.

Feeling her tender caress, Niles couldn't stop turning to her. His eyes were still red from crying, and CC felt a pang in her chest from seeing those eyes so sad. She noticed he was still wearing his white shirt, what meant he was really distressed when he came to his room.

She felt bad about the distance he had created between them when turning, even if it was necessary for them to face each other.

(Aren't we full of metaphors, tonight? We must get to different positions, sometimes hurtful and uncomfortable ones, to face things and really deal with them!)

'I believe you, Miss Babcock. But maybe… you just can't do it'. His eyes had traveled to her left hand, that seemed lost, staying mid-air since he turned, and he took it. 'People can't fight their feelings. I discovered I can't fight mine, and that's why I'm here, still waiting for a woman that sees me just as a…'. His voice faltered and he decided it was no good to complete the sentence.

CC looked at their joined hands, and her sweet gaze made him resume his talking. 'You're a free and beautiful woman, Babcock. You're strong and successful, and I… admire you for those qualities. That's why I believe you can do whatever you want with your life, making the choices you…'

Again, he was at a lack of words. CC started feeling worried, because _her _Niles was never like this.

'Hey', she said, entwining their fingers and locking stares with him, 'don't you think there is something wrong in your thinking process? Well, it wouldn't be a surprise…'

'I was hit by a gunstock'.

'No, I meant given your age…'

He couldn't help but smile at her and the sweet gestures and soft voice following a zinger. 'I thought you came here to at least pretend you wanted to make me feel better… I should have known you're not good at faking in bed…'

She smiled but her tone was reproachful. 'What do you want me to do? You keep talking about how you can't fight your feelings and how I can do whatever I wish with mine. It's illogical, to say the least'.

His eyes shone, what was a gift to her, but his voice was just a soft and fearful whisper, and he looked shyly at their hands when he talked again. 'And what are those feelings you can't fight?', he cleared his throat, 'Supposing I believe you're a just a mortal being, now, and not the supernatural being we all grew used to'.

'So I have feelings?'

'So there is something you can't fight'.

CC smiled, because it was a compliment to her strength, in fact. She wished that just by hugging him she could make him understand how she felt – it would make things so much easier! 'I don't know what to say, Niles. Words never worked for us… I mean, we have fun with words, but… fun is not enough anymore…'

Niles was silent for some moments, now looking into her eyes again, but his gaze firmly on hers was not as unnerving as she would expect. He couldn't hide his fascination for her, and that gave CC the reassurance she needed to just rest there, her hand in his, waiting for him to help her to find the right words.

She could see his hesitation, and how cute he was while trying to decide the right thing to say.

CC Babcock was not a warm person, but the moment she finally noticed how difficult it all was for him, she had a glimpse of herself through his eyes, and it made her have an epiphany.

It was like she was the one with the memory problem: in one moment, she had a lot of special moments coming to her, making her realize how attentive he was, how adoringly he would behave just to entertain her, how dedicated he was to provide what she needed… What was she waiting? Why does she always feel like the right thing to do is refrain from caressing him? Wasn't it clear how he felt about her, and how she felt about him?

'Miss Babcock…', he started, but he was cut by her lips softly on his.

She didn't make the kiss a long one – she just needed to show him how all right they were –, and soon let go of his hand to bring him the closest she could, her cheek on his. 'What do you want to hear, Niles? Tell me so I can say it, and not the stupid things I always say'.

It was easy to feel the turmoil he was going through. His breathing was accelerated and he gulped as if he was taking a very difficult decision.

Finally, he did. 'I want to know… What did you mean when you said the fun is not enough anymore? We were having fun together while I had no memory… or we weren't?'

CC didn't expect this question. She thought he would make a joke to hide from the situation, or maybe he would just ask her directly about her feelings… but he decided to give her the opportunity to explain to him something she said before.

But, again, Niles knew her very well, and knew she could be not ready to talk openly about her feelings. He was willing to build the solution of this with her, and for that she was grateful.

'Of course we were', she answered, and he let go a breath he didn't notice he was holding. 'I loved every minute of it. Finally I had you by my side and neither of us needed to pretend we were not enjoying it. I thought it was clear to you, too'. With that she moved back enough to look him in the eye.

'It was clear to me, but I… can never say what's going on your mind'.

'I'm a creature of the darkness, Niles. You can't expect me to show you all of my secrets'.

She flashed him a smile while saying this, but it was obvious he was not comfortable with her answer.

CC moved until their foreheads were touching. His eyes were closed, and she felt how insecure he still was.

It was time for sincerity. CC's answer for Grace's earlier question came now: yes, she was ready to say the truth to him, even if herself was not ready to understand it completely.

'I like to have fun with you. I enjoy the word-games, the zingers in general, even the pranks. I enjoy being with you, and I discovered I really like your body, what is a form of fun, too'. She caressed his ear and smiled when she felt him shiver. 'But I feel that I can have more with you. I don't know exactly what, but I had more of you in these last days, and it was… _good_'. He shivered again at her low tone in the last word. 'Do I explain myself?'

'Yes… I suppose so'.

'But you're not convinced… You're still feeling wrong about it, aren't you?'

Niles thought of agreeing, but it was like throwing away the opportunity she was giving him of getting closer.

And his mouth seemed to have a life of its own, because it searched hers and before he could stop it he was kissing her passionately and then making a path of little kisses each time closer to her ear.

'Will you stay here with me tonight?', he murmured, pausing just before reaching her lobe.

'To see if you're all right? If you think it is necessary…', she answered, hoarsely.

'Uhum. I think I need you here… for reassurance'. He nibbled on, and smiled at her pleasured sigh.

'I see…'. CC was enjoying his voice and wanted to keep the conversation going, but it was difficult to concentrate. 'You're not sure of… what, again?'

Niles was able to stop his mouth and just caress her hair, avoiding her gaze. 'It was strange hearing those things earlier, you know'.

'Uhmpf. Then you shouldn't eavesdrop'.

He looked at her warily. 'Babs…', his gaze was hot, but the tone was one of warning.

She found the mix arousing, but she had sense enough to not provoke him now. 'What you heard was not the truth. It was an altered version'.

'Don't try to tell me you were just _pretending_ to be indignant about Mr. Sheffield and Miss Fine'.

'No, this part _was_ real', she sighed, frowning. 'The fact is I can't stand Maxwell glorifying Nanny Fine when he has _me_ to listen to. I mean, she has instincts, but I usually am more realistic… I…'

'Shush', he kissed her briefly. 'You don't have to explain anything more. I see your point, because I know you are a realistic person…'. He showered her face with soft brief kisses, '…and strong, and sophisticated, and beautiful, and… a woman…'. He stopped to look her in the eye. 'I think it is exactly what makes you special. If _he_ can't see it, it's _his_ problem'.

'Wow', she answered, laughing at the disgusted face he did while finishing his last phrase. 'It's great to hear it from you!'

'Really?'. It was easy to see how happy he was just because she seemed to care about his opinion.

'Yes. It makes me all warm inside…', the blonde said, moving her body in little quick and funny moves until it was very, _very _close to his. 'As I felt every time you complimented me, these last days'.

'You prefer my younger version, then?'

'I can't deny he was braver than you. At least he could spend a day with me'.

'Hey! I usually look for you in a daily basis. I even pretend to dust just to stay in the office with you! I must be the bravest of all people around, because I defy you in your own territory'.

'You liar…'

Niles knew, by her smile, she was just playing with him, but the arousing sensation was there, and he moved until he was on top of her. 'It's true! Why else would you think I go there in that lair?'

'To see Nanny Fine's antics?'

'I already went there before she came to work in the house. I'm not the one with a bad memory anymore, woman'.

'I know', she answered and put a hand on his cheek, caressing it. 'You're very handsome, you know it?'

'Don't you wish I was younger?'

'For God' sake, Niles! I like older men!'

'Older than what, witch?', he started tickling her, what made her giggle.

'Than me!'

'As if…', he said, pretending he was annoyed. 'So tell me, why have you craved for Mister Sheffield all of this time?'

Niles had to stop the tickling, because CC managed to turn their bodies and now _she_ was on top, looking at him in a way he was sure meant 'no kidding anymore'.

For some instants, Niles wanted to take the question back, but it was impossible not just because she was ready to react, but because he was dying to know the answer, even if he feared it terribly.

And, of course, the fact she was all over him, her body touching his on the right places and that kind of menacing gaze she had were devastatingly sexy, from his point of view.

'I wouldn't call it _craving_'.

'No?'

'No… _Craving_ is this I feel for you'. She started to slowly open his shirt. 'Because, you know you're not the only one to make up excuses to see a certain person, don't you?', she opened it and started kissing his chest. 'Why do you think I go so many times a day to that kitchen?'

'Because I'm Yenta Central?', he answered, trying to maintain some dignity and not sound so needy.

'Try again', she said and kept kissing, every time slower, taking his shirt from the away as she went.

'Because Chester told you I make the best bowls in town?'

She punished him for the zinger biting lightly the skin just below his navel, while using her hand to put some pressure on his lower region.

His sudden intake of air followed by a deep moan and a quick reaction from the squeezed area made her grin widely. 'Hey… you like it?'. She squeezed again, this time with more confidence and a distinctive trace of possessiveness, and her voice sounded mesmerized. 'Yeah… You like it…'

She kept doing that to him, enjoying the needy sounds he couldn't suppress anymore, and fascinated by how his moans of _Oh, Miss Babcock…_ turned her on.

CC didn't want to stop, but it was necessary to open his pants and finally take them away with every other piece of cloth he was wearing.

He soon understood what she wanted, and he helped her. He was nude in no time, and she stayed watching him for a while, impressed by the large and strong and… well… big body he had.

She reached her hand to caress his thigh, went on lightly on his length and slowly made a line to his chest. 'Butler Boy… such a sensitive man… Who would say you liked it if I used the rough side on you…?'

'If I wouldn't, why would I want you so much?'

That was the last straw: she used the hand that was on his chest, pushed him to his back again, and straddled him. It was easy to see how aroused he felt about feeling dominated by her, and the motions of his hips against her middle were doing something to her.

Her gown was all around her waist, now, and she wondered how she would do to take it off without having to stop that delicious friction.

CC went down to kiss him and felt his hands sneak to her back.

'Can I?', he pleaded, his fingers on the zipper of her dress.

She didn't know what came into her (well, _that_ hadn't come into her yet!), but she felt a wave of pleasure washing over her when she heard his pleading voice, his fingertips brushing her nape and the pressure he was putting into her body.

When she could think again, she opened her eyes and he was staring at her, grinning proudly, 'Really?'

She blushed. 'Well… It was too damn good…'

'Why, thank you', he said, still smiling, and she closed her eyes again and shivered when she felt his fingers grazing the skin of her back while opening the dress. 'But, you know, this is not exactly how I intended things to be'.

They looked at each other for some instants, and then she crushed her mouth on his, just stopping to take the gown away.

Niles couldn't think straight, and he didn't see exactly when the bra and panties disappeared – next thing he knew, time stopped and there was a blond goddess above him, her knees firmly on each side of his hips, her hands on his chest, her eyes hot on his. 'Don't worry. I can do it again and again'.

And with that she slowly descended on him to take what was hers.


	13. And he says the words

**Amnesia**

**Chapter 13: And he says the words**

Next morning CC woke up to discover Niles ready for the day and sitting by her side on the bed, looking tenderly at her.

'Good morning, Lover Boy', she said, looking him in the eye and feeling positively glowing.

'Good morning, White Queen', he answered and took her hand to kiss it. 'I hope you're not disappointed on me'.

'Why would I be?'

'Well… You came to my room and… we were in a very intimate position…', he was blushing. 'Maybe you wanted more time before we…'

'Oh, my God! You're afraid I'm feeling used for my body?', she said, her hand over her heart in an exaggerated gesture.

He frowned, feeling insecure, even if he could see the mocking glee in her attitude. They didn't talk about it openly in the previous night, and it made him wish he could hear her voicing how she felt. 'Well… maybe…kinda… sorta…'

The blond shook her head. 'Niles… Well, it happened faster than I thought, in the first time… _My_ first time', both smirked at that, 'but you were patient and… in the next… three or four times, I can't remember, you showed me how great it was when I waited for you…'. Her eyes grew large at the numbers she was saying – she hadn't thought about them before. 'You animal', she roared and took him by the tie, making him close enough so she could kiss him wetly.

When the kiss was over, CC had to make an effort to not laugh at his disturbed expression while trying to fix his tie. 'Animal, _me_?'

'Yeah! I was here, trying to say demure things, and you made me give up and touch you'. She sent him a forced glare. 'How do you do this to me?'

'It must be the same way you do _this_ to me', he answered, taking her hand, and slowly bringing it closer to him. He kept a sweet look all over him and conducted her hand until it was between them.

For an instant, they locked stares, and he seemed… unsure?

Next thing she knew, he averted his gaze and was putting her hand on him, so she could feel what was going on through… the cloth of his trousers. He cleared his throat. 'Can you explain it?'

CC smirked at the sensation and then made an effort to frown, as if she was really contemplating the question, but he was so close to her, the scent of after shave and his cologne were so good, and that length under her hand was so distracting... 'Let's just do it again and see if we can finally understand it'.

'I'm a bit out of time…'

'That's why I like older guys: they have to know how to do things quickly or they'll miss wonderful opportunities'. And she said that putting the covers to the side and laying down in a very promising position.

'Q-Quickly?', Niles asked, already taking off his coat, his eyes glued to her body.

'Don't play coy, baby. I already know you can be very… versatile'.

'And I already know you like to try new things'.

'Aren't I the most amazing woman you had the honor to know?'

'I don't feel like I really know you'.

'A little more action, Butler Boy'.

'You're quoting Elvis and I'm the older one?'

'Why, you… Oh, God… what is it you're doing…?'

'You said _quick_, darling, and I live to serve. Relax and enjoy it'.

**ncncncncnc **

Some minutes after, Niles was adjusting his tie again in front of his mirror, while observing CC stretching lazily on his bed. She was a wonderful sight, but someone had to focus on how they would proceed from now on, and she seemed very far from this kind of thought. 'What do you intend to do?'

'Well, even if I love your scent all over me, I should go home, take a shower and change…'

'Well…', he forgot for a moment what he was going to say, because the idea that he had in some way marked her with his scent was savagely sensual, 'I mean… yes, you should do it, but… I meant… about… us'.

'I don't get it', she said, stopping her moves to look at him seriously.

'Woman, work with me here, please', he said, sitting by her side on the bed.

His pleading tone made her worry. 'Niles, after all we've been through, you're still afraid of telling me things! What is it you want to know from me?', her hand went to his hair right over his ear, and she was caressing it.

He gulped. 'Will we tell the family?'

Niles felt like her answer was a sentence: depending on what she had to say, he would know what to expect from her, and from this new… _thing_ they had.

'I don't know. Do you think we should?'

His heart was small in a second. All he could think was that her hesitation had to do with Maxwell and how he would react when he discovered about them.

He sighed and tried to hide his disappointment pretending he was fixing the closest pillow. 'It could be… fun'. _Even if fun is not enough anymore…_

'Yeah, it could… Hey! I know what we'll do! We don't tell them, but we act as if they already knew, not hiding anything, and wait to see what they will say when they see us! Call a taxi!'

She kissed him, deliriously happy by the idea, and got up to go to the bathroom, her energies renewed.

Niles made the call and stayed on the bed, thinking. In fact, they had never discussed what they were, now. If they had to tell people, what would be the right words?

Why was he so anxious about naming their relationship? Was it all about her feelings? But she already said she wanted more than fun with him, just didn't know what…

Would now be a good time to ask if she had already discovered?

And the question that was really bothering him: why didn't he put her hand over his heart, as he intended to do when he took it? Why did he change his mind and made it seem like something purely sexual?

Maybe he really should ask her openly how she felt, because it was something in her eyes that made him act as a…

Suddenly she was back and putting her gown. 'Would you lend me an overcoat, so I can sneak out without seeming such a loony?', she asked, showing her attire.

He stood up. 'You're the most beautiful loony in the world with that dress'. Niles noticed it was impossible to look at her and talk about anything that could break the spell. In fact, it was impossible to talk about anything else but her beauty, right now.

He smiled at her and went to take the required coat from his closet.

'Don't tempt me!', she waited for him to be back, turned her back to him and pointed to the open zipper.

'I'm not doing anything', he said sincerely, then put the coat under his arm and went to help her.

'Stop smiling at me like that'.

'How do you know I'm smiling? My face can be just frozen in shock'.

'I can feel the good vibrations'.

'And now, Beach Boys. Old, old, old'.

'I'm cultured'.

'You're amazing'.

'Oh, please, if you can't stop smiling like a fool, at least don't compliment me. I must go home! All warmed over, remember?'

'I remember everything, woman'.

'God, I'm happy you do!'

He finished the task and put his hands on her hips to turn her to him. 'Really?'

'Of course! I doubt some things you've been doing to me in the last hours were just inspiration. I bet you have some good experience…'

'Inspiration plays a big part in it, too'.

'I know how big it is, darling…'

She kissed him again, the throaty laugh messing with his feelings, and took him by the hand. 'Come on, help me out'.

He escorted her to the back door, thinking of how good it was to be with her, the feeling of her hand in his, the trust they shared, the light zingers they were still throwing... This feeling of intimacy was just too precious for words.

And, yet, he felt like there was something he had to say.

Before going out by the back door, she moldered herself against his body. 'I wish I could stay a bit longer, but the more natural it seems, the better the effect will be'.

And with an evil grin she went away.

**ncncncncnc**

Niles was preparing breakfast and trying to put away the sensation that something was amiss.

He wanted CC Babcock more than anything in his life; they were together… in a sense. She even said she didn't want to hide what was going on from the family… What was his problem?

Soon after she was gone the Butler realized it was Saturday, and the family would come to eat breakfast one hour later than usual. He had more time than expected to his musings.

He was not usually that difficult of a person: when something he wished came to his arms, he would just accept it.

Now the woman he had dreamed about for years had come to him and he simply couldn't accept it.

There was something wrong about all of that, and he couldn't pinpoint what was.

Time for breakfast arrived, the family came, asked if he was all right, he answered he was and didn't feel like telling them his memories were back, they finished their meals and went in different directions.

Everything was normal. He seemed to be the only one to care if CC was all right after the argument of last night. Maxwell mentioned something about working in the office, Fran asked if CC was coming over, the producer answered he thought it was probable, and that was it.

Why was he so distressed about their reactions? In a normal day, he would make easy jokes about Babcock and work and everybody would laugh.

Now, all he could do was feel a strange sensation that bordered annoyance.

**ncncncncnc**

Niles was in the kitchen, some time later. He was concluding the process of cleaning the mess after breakfast and was deciding if it was already time to go the office and ask if the producer had plans on having lunch in the mansion.

Of course, he was worried that CC hadn't come to work, yet. He wondered if she had gone directly to the office, instead of coming to the kitchen to greet him… It seemed absurd, but she said they should act normal… Maybe normal, to her, was what they had before last night…

'Morning, Niles', her voice sounded suddenly. She was entering the kitchen by the swinging door and throwing a glare around.

Niles just stayed there, still, his left hand on the island. She was glowing in a big black coat (that was not his) and had a cold air about her.

She really seemed… _normal_: the way she analyzed the surroundings as if she was prepared for anything, the cold stare she threw him now, the voice polite but devoid of emotion.

It seemed they were back to what they had before his amnesia.

And, for some moments, he had a strong urge to cry, because it seemed _she_ was the one with amnesia, now; and he would give up his own memories if this was the condition to have her with him again.

'Is breakfast over?', she asked, coming to stand next to the island.

Niles breathed deeply and started to search for something to do. 'Uhm, yes, the family was late but not much from the usual'. He started fumbling with some plates, trying to hide how deeply wounded he was by her behavior, and trying to gain time to recover. 'If you want I can serve you something', he didn't dare to look at her, knowing he should throw a zinger to protect himself, but unable to do so.

He moved to the table to put a chair that was in place… well… more in place.

'I don't want to eat anything, thank you', she answered in the same cold tone. 'Where is everyone?'

'The children are in their rooms…'

'Oh, yes, it is not school day'.

'Miss Fine is preparing to go out with Miss Toriello. They're going shopping and taking Grandma Yetta to a visit in Queen's…'

She smiled ironically at that, following him with her eyes. 'All in a day's work, isn't it?'

He tried to smile back, but was too nervous to do so. Specially because he had to proceed to say what she probably really wanted to know. He sighed, cleaned his throat and tried to sound neutral. 'And Mister Sheffield is…'

'Oh, God!', she interrupted him, 'Who cares?!'

Niles saw in a glimpse that she was taking off her coat, revealing a beautiful red blouse (God! She is beautiful in red!), and then he was pressed against the island in a swift movement, and she was kissing him as if they were away for days.

Initially very confused, Niles soon gave up rational thought and accepted the fact he had her in his arms, exactly how he had wished, and she was making very clear just how much she had missed him...

They had to part when a voice that seemed strangely similar to a horn sounded at the kitchen door, followed by a very British 'Oh-my-Gawd!'

They turned to see Maxwell and Fran at the swinging door, mouths agape.

Niles didn't know what to do. It was very similar to that night in the den: the dark-haired people staring in shock, the blond people still in each other's arms and not exactly wanting to let go.

CC moved in his arms just a fraction, as if to break the spell, and he had a very vivid sense of déjà vu.

She was there. She had chosen him. She couldn't resist him as much as he couldn't resist her.

The feeling he had when he first heard her voice, at the office door, that day when he came from the hospital, was with him again, and it was screaming '_You belong together!_'

He needed to tell her… He had to do it… He couldn't let History repeat itself…

Before he could do anything, she smiled at him and scowled at the people at the door. 'Can we have a minute, here? We were saying good morning'.

'Well, Miss Babcock', Fran came closer to them. 'I must say again that Niles has no memory and you should not be…'

'…harassing?', Maxwell supplied.

'… harassing him like that!'

'He has his memory back since… last night', the blond said, smirking.

'And it is more than I need to know', Maxwell grimaced and went out of the kitchen, pulling Fran with him.

'Welcome back, sweetie!', Fran managed to say to her friend, with a bright smile, before she disappeared.

CC rolled her eyes and turned to Niles, adjusting herself in his embrace. 'Where were we?'

To her shock, there was no lust in his eyes, anymore. There was something new, something so tender it was painful.

She was fascinated by the way his eyes travelled on her face, and his hand came slowly to rest on her cheek. 'Miss Babcock…'

'Yes?'

He was not well, it was clear. She could hear the agitated beating of his heart against her breasts, the shaking of his hands and the deep emotion in his eyes, the effort he was making to find the words.

CC understood there was something to be said. Something that was tormenting him.

'I…'

She fought the urge to say something. Whatever it was, it was something he had to do on his own. All she could do was to look him in the eye and show her own tenderness.

And, of course, it is beautiful to help when you have no idea of what is going on.

_Concentrate in the eyes, CC… His eyes… so blue and so beautiful… And that mouth… Uhmmmm…_

CC caught herself touching his lips with hers very softly. She was surprised at how good this innocent touch felt after the night they had, and how right it was to be soft with him.

They parted and she noticed both had their eyes open. There was nothing to hide, and she smiled at the thought of something so real.

Her happy smile must have given him the courage he needed, because he sighed and said, as if it was the most daring piece of information of the century, 'I love you'.

Both were grinned widely at that: Niles, because he felt like there were tons being lift over from his shoulders; CC, because it felt perfect to hear it from him.

'Hey', she said, joining her hands behind his nape. 'I love you too'. She noticed his shock and her eyebrows rose. 'Didn't you already know?'. She kissed him again, noticing how shock was giving its place, slowly, to bless. 'Someone was not paying attention…'

'I had a memory problem, witch. Don't be mean'.

'But you like it when I'm baaaaad…'

He laughed. 'Yes, I really do'. He sobered, caressing her. 'But I needed to be sure your feelings were the same as mine'.

'Really', she sobered, too. 'Why didn't you tell me earlier?'

'I thought you were happy having all that hating'.

'You really were not paying attention… How could you miss the signs? I have been fantasizing about you obsessively… And I just seized the opportunity of your amnesia to get closer'.

'You seemed to prefer Mister Sheffield'.

'And I preferred'.

'What?!'

'He is richer, comes from a rich family, is a handsome man, respected by his pairs… If it was a question of choice, I would choose him. But love is not about choosing, Niles. Love is about belonging together. It is about feeling at home'.

Niles frowned to control his tears. 'You know they're listening on us, don't you?'

'I wouldn't be surprised. Why?'

'Aren't you ashamed of yourself? You're declaring your love for someone you've called old, low and ugly for years'.

'Aren't _you_ ashamed? You just confessed your love for someone you called a man for years.'

'I've been pretending I was blind. What's your excuse?'

'I could never believe something so great would happen to me'.

Silence. His throat went dry. That was more than he could hope for.

Niles kissed her hands and got out of her embrace, quickly taking her coat from the table, picking the car keys and announcing to the swinging door. 'Sir, I think I'll go see the doctors. I need a check up to make sure I'm all right. I'll be back…'

'Tomorrow!', CC added, keeping pace with him and already close to the back door.

Niles mouthed _Really? _to her, and the joy in his eyes and the foolish grin made her giggle.

'Go ahead, old man! Do what you need to do!', Maxwell's voice came through the door.

'Enjoy your day!', Fran supported their boss.

'We will!', CC stated, getting out of the mansion with her man in tow. 'Come on, Lover. This amnesia thing made me realize time won't stop'.

Niles followed her snickering until they reached the town car in the garage. 'I'm in love with a genius! What a bless!'

He was quickly behind the wheel and she was seated besides him when her hand took his and didn't let him start the car.

'Wait'. She licked her lips. 'So, I'm not a genius for noticing we don't have a time machine and should seize every moment? It is not brilliant that I let my misconceptions behind because I realized time is running out and I must embrace what makes me happy? It is not wonderful that I won't miss any opportunity to show you how I feel for you and to satisfy our desires?'

He opened his mouth to answer, but her hand came to rest on his thigh, rendering him speechless.

'Let me explain my theory in detail…'

_The end_


End file.
